We here at Racket love two things- Food and a reason to drink. Thanksgiving Day is about both these things. It’s the one time of year that being seen gnawing on a giant turkey leg and drunkenly hitting on your cousin is acceptable even in non-jousting related settings. It’s a glorious celebration of all things fat and sassy. Sure, belts might be a little tighter this round, but we are here to show that hard times and invasive new TSA regulations doesn’t mean Thanksgiving this year can’t be fun.
Gravy trains the size of punch bowls, turkeys the size of obese toddlers, beefy football players, mammoth inflatable balloons shaped like non-threatening cartoon characters, second only to 4th of July, Thanksgiving tops the list as a day to celebrate being American, and that means one thing- BIG! But how big is too big? The porn and automotive industries have been trying to find the answer to this for years.
But, for those of us not planning to be joined by every sprig and twisted branch of extended family, or that find we don’t have the space and man-servants this year to transform our dining rooms into banquet halls replete with whole suckling-pigs, scaling things down a bit might be an option worth looking into. As much as this is a holiday about opulence and seeing how much leftovers you can jam into a fridge, sometimes what we are really after is just a nice little Thanksgiving for two, or something to share with a few close friends or immediate relatives.
This year, why not throw a Mini Thanksgiving? We here at Racket decided to take that to the extreme and created our very own teeny tiny turkey day! Small doesn’t have to mean measly, the extra room is just there to fit in more awesome. Our Emperor, Racket’s resident chef and ruler, and I went all out and created a bite-size banquet featuring Cornish game hen, hard boiled quail eggs, Brussels sprouts, baby corn, mashed potatoes, baby carrots, broccoli, sweet peas, and baby-back ribs. The results were adorably delicious!
But what about Turkey-Day’s lonely and misunderstood nemesis the Vegetarian? Mocked, ostracized, and left to make do with a plate full of side-dishes, or else forced to eat soggy mounds of spongy soy product shaped into the mold of a tasty and majestic animal, for them Thanksgiving can be a day of shame. We are quick to forget that some vegetarians do in fact eat fish, I like to call these “Murder-Lite” Vegetarians, and they make charming dinner guests. For them meals can still be filled with an ocean of possibilities that everyone can enjoy.
A trip to your local Asian market can offer a tidal wave of fresh seafood selections from the furthest fathoms of flavor. After all, what greater bounty is there than the bounty of the sea? Instead of turkey, why not a lobster? If you don’t feel right about throwing your little friend in a pot, there is always the sushi approach.
With that challenge in mind we set out to create our own Delights of the Deep themed fancy feast, complete with epic Mermaid Vs. Kraken sea-battlescape centerpiece. On the menu: Yellowtail sushi rolls, assorted sashimi selection, soft shell crab, calamari, and grilled fillet of salmon on a bed of mashed potatoes and seasoned vegetables. For those on a budget, a cold can of Chicken of the Sea with a splash of mayo works too, it even comes with its own mermaid.
If you are a Vegan, sorry, but you probably know what a pain in the ass you are already. We can only do so much. Hating on butter is like hating on freedom. This is Thanksgiving, how else can you truly appreciate being better than something if you can’t eat it and the delicious products made from it? We’re #1… on the food chain! USA!!
To everyone, Happy Holiday!
-Racket Laura
Have a fun meal idea or your own special Thanksgiving tradition? Share it with us, it may even get chosen as next year’s Racket Banquet challenge theme. We’d love to hear about it in the comments section!