Who cares about questions about touring or recording? Who wants to know an artists favorite city to play in or when they’ll make it back there? No one we care to meet. I want to know if an artist, no matter how good of an artist they may or may not be, is a douchebag or not. And you know what, doing Racket for three years now, we have had more than our fair share of surprises. Gym Class Heroes – not douchebags. Armor for Sleep’s Ben Jorgensen – douchebag. Rise Against – not douchebags. Thursday’s keyboardist – douchebags.

When we review a CD, we don’t care how much heart and soul went into it, we tell you if you should bother shelling out $15 for the thing, or if you’re better off spending that money on Drumsticks and Dr. Pepper for a week. If it gets a decent review, it’s probably worth your cash. If it gets a sucky review, don’t fucking bother. Don’t even download it. If you still want to try it out, fine, but don’t say we didn’t warn you. With tens of thousands of albums coming out each year, we have every right to be picky, and you do, too.

While we are really big on music, we know there are other cool things to check out. And, seeing as how we like to think of ourselves as well rounded, we’ll check ‘em out for you and let you know how it is. Whether it’s some seasonal beer from Sam Adams, San Diego’s Comic-Con or some random skate event, we’ll try to keep you up on all the cool shit. Now, this is not to be confused with a promise to keep you hip on the latest trends because frankly, most of lock ourselves in our rooms during the day and don’t get out much.

We hope you enjoy reading our shit.

Jonathan – Founder, Editor In Chief, The Emperor.

The cogs and mastermind of the Racket Empire, Yost, AKA “The Emperor,” is a man among men. He has interviewed countless artists and has attempted to set up a fantasy cage-fight match, but has so far failed to find a group of musicians who value their lives less than entertaining people. Trained in the ways of Magazine Moguling, armed with an actual degree in music and possessing a dazzling background in bad-assary, he vows to take Racket “to the limit”. In his free time, he enjoys cooking elaborate dinners for himself, re-naming people’s pets and Scrabble. With 6 years of writing under his belt, he worries that one day someone may call him a journalist, which would add unneeded pressure. He one day hopes to make it big and win the heart of his boyhood crush, actress Molly Ringwald, by buying her a solid gold robot that contains the real beating heart of a man.
Let him know how much he’s touched your heart: Jonathan@racketmag.com

Caitlin Elgin

Caitlin is a student who doesn’t really know what to learn- currently it’s communication, but don’t hold your breath. She spends most of her knowledge, effort, and spare time trying to get the Emperor to get stuff done. Sometimes it works. Racket Magazine suits her fancy as it allows her loads of free reading, bossiness, picking on people with poor grammar, and hitting on drummers at shows. Drop Caitlin a line for any information on Racket, media related business, advertising, job applications, Monty Python quotes, or a good sarcastic kick in the ass. Peas out!

Luke “Cool Hands” Toney

Luke Toney, or Coolhands as the Racket editors like to call him, is an unemployable lay-about. At least, that’s what this internet job genie said, and he’s afraid it’s proving to be true. Having graduated this past August with his B.A. in Philosophy and Professional Writing, he spends a lot of time searching for full-time employment and the rest of his time playing MMOs. He’s a bit of a reclusive old fart and is behind the times when it comes to music, which makes him a pretty objective voice in that regard. He still lives in Columbus, Ohio, a decent-sized city that he only dreams of leaving in winter, when gale force winds inevitably knock the air out of his lungs as he walks down the street. He enjoys tattoos, fair trade coffee, a good porter, Argentine or Chilean red wine, socialism, NPR, and riding bikes.

Laura Gaddy

Raised by a pack of college-educated timber-wolves, she likes her culture like she likes her meat- Raw and sprinkled with wit. Armed with a mind as sharp as a steel-trap and as diabolical as a Jr. Jumble, her job is to add a touch of class to this joint. If you can put it up on a screen, she’s on it.  Whether scrawled, pressed, screened, or deep fried, she tears into it like a hungry orphan.  When the moon is out on a cloudless night, some say you can still hear her howl show-tunes from Annie.

Kateri Lirio

Kateri “K-fluff” Lirio is your atypical music industry spaz, promoter, manager, ragamuffin. She also likes 70s progressive rock. Yeeesh. Racket’s resident gear head, Kateri was once a well-studied concert pianist and modular synthesizer builder. Over years of indecision and agoraphobia, she has recently been appointed designated nacho-getter for The Emperor. Sometimes he lets her out to review shows and interview bands. Tell Racket Kateri where she can have a good time because eremitic behavior is just plain weird. Follow her shenanigans on Twitter (@kat_eri) and visit her blog (http://racketkateri.tumblr.com/.) You can reach her at Kateri@RacketMag.com

Original Knockoff

Original Knockoff consists of Dennis Chung and Gabriel Zuniga.  Since they were young their mothers had always told them they were the best at everything.  Unlike most of us, this idea really got cemented in their minds.  Having become friends recently, they spend most their time humiliating themselves and alienating friends.  Even worse, they have fallen into a circle of people who seem to strengthen their delusion and have lost all grasp on reality.  Watch them fall further away from us here and at their website http://OriginalKnockoff.com.

Also, they do the video production.

Jeff Curtis

Jeff was told to shorten his bio and took his sweet damned time (like, years) so I’m doing it my damned self. Jeff has tattoos, likes to drink (and is pretty good at it) and when he can, he likes to write and play music (I hate to admit it, but he’s pretty good at it, too).  Jeff has been in bands, booked bands, recorded, and been an agent, so he is well-versed in the music scene and the business that accompanies it. One of the original Racketeers, he has been around since day one. He’s still around, and when he stops getting sidetracked by shiny things, he still pops out reviews and interviews.

Armando Olivas – Affirmative Action Committee

Generic placeholder for Mondo until he gets back from being Fake Problems’ merch guy. Follow the little fella on his TWITTER.

Lisa Thompson – Hottie VonEngland

The 8 hour time differences make it a real pain in the ass to coordinate this with her but she also has a TWITTER.