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CraftVaperyI’m COMPLETELY on board with the new trend in subscription boxes, especially with new, particularly specialized, boxes keep popping up. Latest one I’ve been able to get my grubby little (OK, fat) fingers on was a box from Craft Vapery. I am particularly impressed by several aspects of Craft Vapery. One: Their branding is on point. It looks classy, helping to remove some of the stigma of gaping. Two: The “starter kit” vaping thingamadoohickie is goddamned solid. The Kangor Aerotank is neat, and the adjustable-power battery let’s you adjust for maximum vape clouds. Let’s face facts: part of the allure for smoking anything is looking like a goddamned dragon, so giant vape clouds are fucking cool. Three: The website adapts to your favorite flavors. There’s a series of “yuck/yum” options to get this shit narrowed down to your favorite ejuice flavors. Four: “Meriwether” hand wrote the description of the flavors and that makes me feel like a well-respected customer. I WANT TO FEEL WANTED!

Anyways, they sent me the four-flavor box w/ starter kit hardware and I got:

Zebra – Like Fruit Stripe gum, it’s got a sweet gum-like flavor… for about 2 seconds. Then, just like the gum, the flavor disappears to nothingness.

Venetian White “Pathos” – A melon-y/minty juice that tasted a bit too much like diabetes for my taste, but it smells pretty amazing. It doesn’t help that I don’t like melon. Melon’s stupid.

Harvest Berry – Shit made me feel like that dipshit from Willy Wonka: “The harvest berries taste like harvest berries!” Pretty tasty stuff, but I feel like it’s only appropriate to have for breakfast.

Beard “32” – By far my favorite. No only does it have a manly beard as a logo, it tastes like delicious county fair fried amazingness. As a chubby dude, I can get behind this all damned day.

BONUS!! I was sent a “tester” of mango sticky rice, my fave dessert at Thai spots. It freaks me out how much it tastes exactly like mango sticky rice. This is the future of science and it’s being used for ejuice. Why aren’t these people packing this shit full of nutrients and all the stuff your body needs and selling it? It’ll be like that sludge that people ate in the Matrix, but flavored like all kinds of goddamned tastiness. THE FUTURE IS NOW.

So, another subscription box service that fucking rules. This made me realize something: there are a lot of things that I have no clue about, but there are people that do. The more successful subscription services are those with the expertise to help you find what you want, even if you didn’t know you wanted it.