[Emperor’s note: As Racket is a collection of anyone who wants to contribute, I was all for my office-mate writing an article on Christianity. I present a short essay presented by Mr. Micah Mann. Also, I do not owe him money. But he does owe me chilli.]
I believe that Jesus is the son of God and died for our sins. But this week I saw a sticker that read, “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers” and I laughed out loud. Because I feel that way sometimes! I went to a Christian conference this past weekend and most of you reading this would rather get hit by a bus than be within 100 yards of that, and I don’t blame you. I went with hope (always hope) of connecting with God and left with a massive headache. I consistently felt an out of place feeling that could best be described as a “Megadeth fan front row at a James Blunt concert.” The people there pretty much ignored me like the plague and when I initiated conversation, they gave me the general impression that they were way out of my God-league, if there is such a thing.
If you’ve ever gone to church to look for God and instead found Christians, I’m really, really sorry. We are simply the worst ambassadors for a loving God. We are the blind leading the blind, or the blind neglecting the blind, or at our worst, the blind judging the blind. The best excuse I can give for us Christians is that we are broken people who are… human. Forgive us. The only silver lining I can give to this is if God is willing to accept us, his followers, into heaven- then He will absolutely accept you as well.
I’m reminded of a great scene in the movie “Office Space” where Lumberg is trying to talk to Peter about missing work and Peter just walks right around him. For some people, we Christians have become Bill Lumberg-esque barriers to knowing God. Sidestep us! If you’re one of those people, go around us! There is an unbelievably loving God that offers peace on the other side.
I love the Lord and will follow wherever he tells me to go. I once heard this amazing thing about a group of Christians who went to a gay pride festival in SF and set up a “reverse confessional,” a place where Christians could apologize to gay people for Christians treating them terribly. That was it. Not to “convert them,” or some hidden way to convince them that they weren’t gay or to tell them that God hated them for being gay- there was no catch. They just genuinely apologized for the ridiculous bigotry and hatred that gay people have had to put up with in their lives. THAT is the type of believer-in-God that I want to be; that I hope all Christians can be.
It’s funny to me that Jonathan (the Racket Emperor) and I share office space. Half of our hall-closet-sized office is covered with White Stripes, Radiohead and comic posters and the other with my Christian stuff. Racket Magazine’s side of the office completely shoulders the burden of coolness. I’m pretty sure Jon thought that I was bluffing about wanting to write an article on God and put it in Racket. I’m also pretty sure he’ll put this on the website out of sheer guilt and hope that no one reads it. Actually putting this in Racket also confirms my suspicions that he owes me money and I just forgot about it.
I believe in God. Forget about the thing inside you that says that God is only in a building called a church and take a few moments alone this week in your car or room. Allow God space to speak to you. And if you do someday believe that God loves you and died for you- welcome to the club of the worst of the worst.