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Items my friends were able to drunkenly stick into the back: a small stapler, a travel-size bottle of Hendrick’s gin (as an emergency drink), excedrin (to prevent a hangover), jalapeño hot sauce (just because), a tape measure (to find out how far it was from the back door to the grill), a half chewed up Nylabone dog toy (in case I wanted to play with my dog, Gozer), and a breathalyzer (to see who could get the high score).

I take food seriously. I know the difference between a brine and a marinade, a sauté and a sweat, and a broil from a roast. So when I saw that ThinkGeek had grilling tools, I wanted them immediately. And I got them. And I used them. And they are rad.

ThinkGeek was cool enough to send over the BBQ Gift Pack, which includes a tactical BBQ fork, tactical chef’s apron, and tactical pizza cutter. Now, each has distinct advantages over their less-tactical cousins you buy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, but they all work in tandem to make your cooking experience a bit more fun.

I’ll start with the tactical chef’s apron. First thing’s first, it feels high quality. Its cloth is particularly thick, and couple with the insane amount of pockets and Velcro loops, is pretty heavy. I actually ditched most of the pockets, since I really only needed the two sewn-on pockets, one for my beer (which didn’t fall over, awesome), and one for my tongs. There are several loops on the chest, one of which was chosen to hold my tactical fork. Since I needed to give it a real-world run through, I invited a bunch of friends over for a night of beer and grilled foods.

Throughout the night, my drunken guests found more and more items that I may need and attached them to the apron.

Yes, the trip-tip came out alright. Thanks, ThinkGeek!A roast tri-tip, veggie skewers, and some grilled/smoked trout were on the menu. While the fork was as, uhhh, fork-y as other BBQ forks, where it exceeded their performance was in the attached flashlight/laser pointer. The flashlight was useful in post-sunset usage, while the laser was perfect for gaining the dogs’ attention and getting them away from the grill. DON’T use the fork with bratwürst, that shit will pop the casing and all the juices will leak out (more than likely blasting you with boiling hot fat right in your new shirt).

The last item the sent was the laser guided pizza cutter, which I haven’t used on pizza, yet, but I did mince the fuck out of some garlic with it.

I’m exceptionally on board with ThinkGeek slanging geeky versions of practical items, sprucing up everyday utensils with lasers and lights. Let’s see what yardwork help they come up with, maybe a laser-guided edger, perhaps?