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Holy fuck, growing up is EXHAUSTING. Between buying a house, getting my masters degree, getting married, AND working a day job, I’ve been swamped. To all the bands/publicists who have dealt with my shenanigans, I am sorry. As is customary for me to catch up, here’s another batch of haikus!

 

fe0d8ecdCursive
The Ugly Organ
7/10

I liked it last time.
But I’m not heart-broken now
Not as potent now
[divider_line]

PrudePrude
The Dark Age of Consent
2/10

I don’t know what this is.
It’s like Local H mixed with
Marilyn Manson
[divider_line]

always0Rachel Ann Weiss
Always EP
6/10

Too smooth for my tastes
Bet tons of sex has been had
Listening to this
[divider_line]

ub40-alicampbell-silhouetteAli Campbell (The Legendary Voice of UB40)
Silhouette
5/10

Still UB40
Just call it UB40
IT’S THE SAME BAND, MAN
[divider_line]

CannibalCorpseASkeletalDomainCannibal Corpse
A Skeletal Domain
8/10

DEATH BLOOD MURDER GUTS
DISEMBODY THEM ALL
SOMETHING SOMETHING DEATH
[divider_line]

DragonForce-Maximum-OverloadDragonForce
Maximum Overload
7/10

Johnny Cash Cover?
Their fretboards in a chokehold
Still epic, still rad
[divider_line]

CYLS081_MEWF__6Mikey Erg/Warren Franklin
Split EP
9/10

Two dudes, one EP
Great songs, shit production
Fat Wreck’s still got it
[divider_line]

a2938933888_10Cassavetes
Oh So Long
9/10
Nine out of ten, guys
I would mosh, but I got old
Last week sprained a hip
[divider_line]

 

v600_te-136-hiCayetana
Nervous Like Me
10/10

This is the good stuff
Great lyrics, great production
Punk rock for grown ups
[divider_line]

1035x1035-largeU2
Songs for Innocence
0/10

No. Why is this here?
Apple? APPLE DID THIS? WHYYYYY?
TIM, DO YOU HATE ME?
[divider_line]

a0545044961_10Los Seis Pistos
Punk Will Never Die
4/10

A for effort, guys
Good to see no shits given
Music for shredding
[divider_line]

20198-be-slowlyJAWS
Be Slowly
7/10

Heavy on reverb
But light on obnoxiousness
I’m OK with this
[divider_line]

gemma-ray-milk-for-your-motorsGemma Ray
Milk For Your Motors
8/10

Yea, man. A pre-made
Soundtrack for Tarantino
Some serious jams
[divider_line]

blonde-redhead-barragan-608x608Blonde Redhead
Barragan
7/10

Fucking French people
This shit’s freaking me out, man!
CAN’T STOP LISTENING