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Excuse Me, You Can Win Your Own Stapler

If you’ve ever worked an office job, you know that it can get weird, fast. Before The Office offered a spectacular window into some of the more surreal aspects of intra-office politics and relationships, there was a movie that brought the much-needed satire of of the office environment: Office Space.

Released 20 years ago (to the day if you are reading this on February 19th, 2019), Office Space dropped a non-stop series of highly quotable moments.

To celebrate this nostalgic anniversary, Swingline is not only releasing Milton’s iconic red stapler, they are giving one away (until February 28th, 2019. Don’t yell at us if you didn’t read this in time). Now, I know, a free stapler? Who cares, right? I DO. I CARE. This isn’t just for a shiny red Swingline, it’s for a stapler and A MILLION STAPLES

Now you can chase anyone who brings up The Mondays around, firing staples at will. At least until the consultants come to lay you off. Or HR fires you. Whatever. Who cares. It’s an office job. There’s always construction.

Now, I can’t be bothered enough to copy and paste all the rules (BOOOOORRINGGGG), but you can go to their Facebook post and see them for yourself. https://www.facebook.com/swingline/posts/2533451716725364

If you were like me, you were raised on a steady diet of late-night MTV that your mom didn’t want you to watch, but your redneck stepdad would watch with you. So, it shouldn’t surprise you that the same subversive comedic genius behind Office Space, Mike Judge, is the same subversive comedic genius that created Beavis & Butthead. He not only sparked a lifetime love of GWAR and nachos, but also can be seen in the movie giving Jennifer Aniston loads of shit for her lack of flair.

And another fun fact from the film: Milton’s red Swingline® stapler was actually black, but the prop director spray painted it red for the film because black staplers are whack.

“Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler” has become a staple (pun intended) catchphrase in office environments since Milton first muttered it. It can mean not only “you stole my stapler and you’re lucky I don’t call the cops,” but any real “that’s my stuff so don’t touch it because I hate sharing and also don’t microwave fish at work DEBRA.”

If you don’t win a red Swingline® stapler through the contest, there’s no reason to take it out on the officer copier (WHICH LEGITIMATELY BREAKS ALL THE GODDAMNED TIME), you can buy one for all of $18 via Amazon.

Yeaaaaaaa, I’m gonna need you to read all these details product details on Sunday:

·   20 sheet capacity

·   Designed for long-term durability and consistent performance (Milton can attest to this!)

·   Strong metal base

·   Sturdy plastic top

·   MSRP $17.99

·   Available on Amazon this spring

*Note: This post was not paid for, but I am getting a stapler out of it. This did not affect my love for Mike Judge, Office Space, or Swingline, as both my GWAR and nachos tattoos can attest to.