RacketBoss Jonathan likes very few things. Most people even go as far as to say he’s a jerk. Well, fuck them. I am a jerk! So what? One of the few things I do like are the Bouncing Souls. That did not save them from a Racket interview, though. Let me know what you think: Music@RacketMag.com.
Racket Jonathan: Do you think it would be overly cruel to take orphans to abortion clinic protests?
Bouncing Souls Greg: I don’t know. I guess it would depend on the particular orphan.
RJ: When you murder a prostitute, where’s your favorite place to dump the body?
BSG: In my collection of murdered prostitutes.
RJ: If you taught an old dog new tricks, do you think they’d award you the Nobel Prize?
RJ: You seem disinterested, do you want a Nobel Prize?
RJ: What is your favorite cartoon and why?
BSG: It would have to be the Looney Tunes.
RJ: I hate seeing little kids doing anything better than what I’m capable of. What do you get jealous of?
BSG: Interesting, that’s a great question. I think I get jealous of life situations, sometimes you think that some one else’s life is better than yours, and when you look at it, it’s not. Everyone has to wake up and wipe their ass. So, yes, I have had moments like that, but, in the end, I’m not really jealous of anyone. I do have moments like, man, I wish I was out there, doing that.
RJ: That actually doesn’t lead into my next question whatsoever: How often do you pee in a pool?
BSG: I don’t do that.
RJ: Well, what is the strangest place you’ve peed?
BSG: This might be a funny story to some, but I was in Texas before a show, and I was peeing at the edge of these woods, and I got kicked in the ass by a huge Texas cop. It was pretty shocking. And since then, I have a hard time peeing in public, even when it’s dark and there’s no one else around. I was just shell-shocked by the entire thing, the guy was hardcore, kicked me straight in the ass.
RJ: Could have been worse, you could have been pissing in the Alamo.
BSG: Yea, just like Ozzy!
RJ: When faced with a moral dilemma, do you think, “What would Batman do in this situation?”
BSG: No, but that might be one avenue I could go with.
RJ: Do you ever notice that the guys who say that their band is just “rock” are always in some insanely narrow and/or trendy sub-genre?
BSG: Yea, I guess so. I just think that’s a funny, very specific question. “Just rock?” How can you be “just rock?”
RJ: What’s your favorite over-the-counter medicine to abuse? Mine’s Grape Dimetapp for Kids.
BSG: Now you’ve got me interested. The allergy medication Claritin.
RJ: If you’re eating dinner, and you’re out of salt, do you think of a girl that broke your heart and then proceed to use your tears as a condiment?
BSG: If I had that poetic of a breakup, I might, but that’s never occurred in my life.
RJ: Say something positive about us.
BSG: Racket Magazine sucks so bad that it makes me happy.
RJ: Every year, thousands of homeless people die from causes stretching from mental illness to simple exposure. Some say it’s apathy on the part of the large portion of America that doesn’t want to feed the less fortunate except on Thanksgiving and Christmas. Others counter that almost all of America’s homeless are mere bums who have rejected the system that offered them a chance to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. My question to you is this: what’s your favorite color to wear?
BSG: It’s always pink.
RJ: But you’re not wearing pink? Poser.
BSG: I’m posing the pink.
-by Jonathan Yost