Home » Articles

Mail call!

9 June 2009 1,356 views 2 Comments

Ooooooh! Racket received this juicy bit of hatemail. We loved it so much, we decided to reach out to our new fan and address her concerns.

On Jun 7, 2009, at 3:07 AM, heavensharlot69 wrote:

[From Racket’s About Us:] “’When we review a CD, we don’t care how much heart and soul went into it, we tell you if you should bother shelling out $15 for the thing, or if you’re better off spending that money on Drumsticks and Dr. Pepper for a week. If it gets a decent review, it’s probably worth your cash. If it gets a sucky review, don’t fucking bother. Don’t even download it.’

“What the fuck makes you so worthy of calling shots for people??? You guys are running a piece of shit online magazine interviewing shitty bands that don’t matter and you act like your the shit?????? The day you guys crank out a multi million dollar album and the day you run your own tv show with high ratings and the day you do something positive for humanity I will care what you have to say until than you guys make me want to kill myself….”

Dear Ms. 69,

Thank you for your feedback. We here at the Racket hate-mail bag would like personally address your questions and concerns.

1) I have no idea what makes us worthy to call the shots. Call it destiny or divine intervention, but here we are, “calling the shots.” We’re the Mob Boss of musical taste. If you don’t listen to our point of view, we will probably have your legs broke, or something else nasty.

2) I am not surprised you think all the bands we cover are “shitty.” We personally go out of our way to find the music and bands we know you will personally hate, making sure that a wide breadth of genres and musical acts are covered because we love nothing more than to torment you and your sensitive tastes, and you sound like a real douche bag.

3) I am not personally aware of any magazine that has put out a multimillion dollar album and maybe only a couple that have anything to do with television. I can see what you mean though, clearly only popular things able to be potentially swayed by heavy marketing financial interests can accurately tell you what is cool and what you should spend your hard-earned money on. It is very shrewd of you to distrust small publications run by creators with a strong personal investment and passion in the work they do, whose non-traditional opinions are clearly only trash-talk and the ramblings of men drunk on their own power. Would I consider a Hannah Montana CD as something positive for humanity? No. Is Miley Cyrus able to maintain a lucrative music-themed entertainment franchise on stage-presence and marketing alone? It would seem so. Does it sell well? Like hot-cakes. But you know who else was popular back in the day? Hitler.

As to your dangerous suicidal thoughts, Racket claims no responsibility for any actions you may take. Rather than lashing out at us and blaming the music may I recommend listening to some soothing ocean sounds, preferably backwards, or a heart to heart session with a community counselor. Off the record, though- we won’t miss your readership.

Thank you for your time,

The Racket Staff

2 Comments »

  • Racket Magazine (author) said:

    Drumsticks kick ass. That little bit of chocolate at the bottom is the BEST!

  • Brandis said:

    I heart you guys- couldn’t have come up with a better response myself. Although you could have pointed out the genius’s inability to use complicated words like “you’re” and “then” properly.

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.