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lynch.jpgAhhhhh, Comic Con, how I missed you. And how I both love you and loathe you. My first Comic Con was but five years ago, helping my buddy Josh Sullivan out in Artist’s Alley. It was a glorious time, filled with hope and wonder, but not so many people. Artist’s Alley was almost a ghost town, with Josh’s booth damn near the back, 30 feet from the nearest booth. What a topsy turvy world I entered on the first day of Comic Con! What was once a ghost town of starving artists was now a mecca of artists and illustrators from the big names like Marvel and DC, and what I refer to as the little big names like IDW, Top Cow, Slave Labor and more. What it didn’t have as much, were the assholes working three jobs so they can afford to go to Comic Con so that they could sell some comics, doodle in people’s nerdy little autograph/sketch books. Now we have artists charging $150 for a fucking sketch. Now, I understand that there are people out there that may very well pay that shit…I am NOT one of them, and I am pretty sure none of our esteemed readers are, either. If you’re selling books, prints, posters and tons more, there’s no need to charge that much for 2 minutes of your time.

Comic Con has changed. And not for the better. Comic Con International is a non-profit organization dedicated to spreading the art of comics, comic books, graphic novels and the like. I love the MythBusters, I really do, but there was no reason for them to be there to sign autographs. None. Not at all. Erik Estrada, in all his Ponch-y glory, had no business being there. Street Fighter 4 video game? Nope. Ghostbusters game? Nuh uh. With all this crap clogging up the lanes, The Racket crew, which consisted of Patrick, Caitlin (AKA The Hotness), The Good Reverend Rex Worth and your humble (and awesome) Emperor decided to check out the independent press/illustrator/artist area. So glad we did. Just as Coachella was too big to go at it in full paragraphs, here is but a schimdgeon of what we did during our four days at Comic Con.

The Red R

– Tons of nerds
– Tons of hot, but nerdy, girls
– Free shit…lots of free shit
– Got some MythBuster autographs
– Met Gary Graham: Achilles from Robot Jox!
– Apparently Tara McPherson was off being hot somewhere.
– Made Dave & Flora Ronzone laugh while Dave and Tariq Raheem busted out some killer sketches.
– Pretzel dogs are the shit
– Melody and Anne of Girls Drawing Girls were effing cuuuute! Brian Lynch called it, though, it should be called Girls Drawn Wild!
– Mac Carter and Adam Bryne of The Strange Adventures of H.P. Lovecraft were rad. Sorry about the thought of dudes calling dibs on your daughter, dude!
– Met what was apparently a lesbian in love with her oblivious friend (who was pretty cute) on the Trolley. I know that Metal Gear Solid is a video game, you condescending little witch, I have a wang.
Josh Parpan and Justin Parpan were cool.
– Jerrell Conner from The Red R was fucking rad.
Cody Vrosh made some suh-weeeet robot sketches for the Racket crew. And his lady friend Sheatiel Sarao made some non-offensive additions to our sketchbooks as well.
– Saw Brendon Fraiser hopped up on something trying to just get through a panel…. yet scaring Jet Li at the same time
– Scott and Kent from White Ninja Comics drew Caitlin and I some rad sketches. Whoever was wearing the beanie checked her out, too.
Michael Daley and I chat it up about being busy and having nothing to show for it.
– Thank you to Christopher Nolan or whoever designed the Joker’s new look for the Dark Knight, which was by far the most popular costume. It made it a lot easier for kids to throw on a last minute costume. Lipstick. Mascara. Done.
Lisa Hanawalt was quite adorable. Art was cute, she’s moreso. Dibs.
– Walked in on a bunch of jackasses circle jerking themselves in the press room, so they yelled at us to shut the door.
– Ranae De Liz made me a sketch of a very metrosexual Nightcrawler, all the while her boyfriend, Douchy McDouchensteiner was pouting that she wasn’t charging for it.
– Adam Archer drew me a more different Nightcrawler.
– Next year…. sneaking into the hotel pool and spa sounds solid…sounds real solid.
– Can someone tell me what steampunks is??
– Met Zombie expert Max Brooks, pretty epic.
Joe Olivares made fun of Tujunga, CA with us.
– Comic con- everyone should go once. Even with the crowds. And the far fewer costumed people. It’s a spectacle. You’ll love it. Go make some nerd’s day and listen to him tell you about his power armor. It raises his power to triple levels!
Chris Burnham had rad artwork of a chick with no mouth but faces on her tits. I wonder if the chick gets upset when people look at her non-face instead of her tits.
– Crystal Chesney-Thompson created a comic based on canned ham, and I have to say, I’d love to have a Haminal.
– Poor Emo Gonzales’ name is, well, Emo. But, definitely check out his shit at Emonic.net, it’s quite badass.
Troma Entertainment is going to be releasing PoultryGeist soon! “People, the other white meat!” Can’t fucking wait!
Adam Archer!
– The ladies and gentlemen of Lava Punch gave us some sweeeeeet sketches. Bloody chicks with swords? Yes, thank you.
– Somehow, Canada got evil with some Zombie Jesus shirts. Awesome.
– The Black Captain America was the shit! Fat Deadpool…not so much. A red Under Armor shirt is a poor substitute for sewing skills, my friend.
– No more Speedos, fellas.
– The Good Reverend got to meet Jon “Ducky” Cryer from Two and A Half Men.
– Mike Peters of Mother Goose and Grimm is the nicest person…EVER!
– Drawn and Quarterly’s booth-slave Rebecca was crazy cute. The comic’s were rad, too. Adrian Tomine is the proverbial shit.
– Punked a Joker who thought he was the shit, got my picture taken with the cute girl instead.
– I sat next to some cute girl who goes by Athena Twin of PMS Clan, a squadron of chick gamers, all of whom I guarantee are better than me.

– Praise, complaints and pictures by Caitlin Elgin, Reverend Rex Worth, Patrick Mason and Jonathan Yost.