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10096322.jpgPenny Flame’s Guide to Rough Sex
Vivid Ed

I am sooooo not cut out for rough sex. What I thought would be “how to bang faster for longer” was more “how to choke a bitch.” Not into it.

Penny Flame tries to lighten up the mood with her Blind Date-esque pop- up captions and hints, but I couldn’t keep a hard on if my partner was looking at me with her mascara running down her face. Unless she was a goth chick and the running makeup wasn’t caused by the tears she is currently crying.

Seriously, how do people get off to this? And why the crap would anyone want to do this to their partner? There’s a difference between humping someone hard and choking them while you bang her in the face. It even starred Lexi Belle, who I was all over in The Doll Underground, but seeing her choke on some burly motherfucker’s dick was NOT enticing to me. I am a terrible pervert.

–Jonathan Yost

As always, Mom, I had umm, a friend who needed to review this…yea…and he’s, err…a pastor and couldn’t use his real name.