I love these things. A butt load of journalists, even pseudo-journalists such as yours truly, are invited to come hang out and listen to spicy tidbits of Warped Tour gossip and chat with some of the main acts. My favorite tidbit this year comes from Warped Founder Kevin Lyman, speaking of Kaves (Lordz Of Brooklyn) and the first Warped Tour: “He didn’t have any food, I didn’t have any food, Sublime ate all the food and the dog ate the rest.”
What the hell ever happened to Louie, anyways? I think I care more about that damned dog than any of the remaining members of Sublime.
Anyways. After 14 years, and Kevin Lyman, in all his so-called sell out status, is still making a killing on far less than a buck a band per ticket. The music festival today, even with Coachella ass-raping your wallets, is by far the best deal for seeing bands you love and bands you’ve never heard of. Warped Tour, as hot as it is, is one of your best bets for both. From fulfilling life-goals of seeing Billy Idol and Joan Jett to awkwardly hitting on that chick from Paramore all the way to having horrible malt liquor energy drinks with Emmanuel and Protest The Hero, Warped Tour’s always been there for me.
This year has an even more fucked up line-up, and not fucked up like “Holy shit, this sucks,” but more “What the fuck? OK, I’m game.” On top of your up and coming skinny kids with shaggy hair bands like 3OH!3 and Beat Union, you have Reggae ass-kickers the Aggrolites, Madonna fav Katy Perry (who I missed a chance to awkwardly hit on, but it is on the list,) and Racket’s collective man-crush Against Me!. Plus, more bands that Racket have thought favorably of appearing this year are Cobra Starship, Gaslight Anthem, Broadway Calls, Reel Big Fish, The Street Dogs, Protest The Hero and Rise Against. All this for about $40! Can’t really beat that.
To butter up your esteemed journalist even more, Lyman and friends threw a shindig that included Broadway Calls, 3OH!3, Beat Union, Katy Perry and the Aggrolites rocking out to a weird group of aging hipsters, young scenesters and a collection of rudies and SHARPs who showed up for the Aggrolites. Instead of checking out the first two bands, I was far more interested in the sushi spot across the street from the Key Club. Dumb move. Their shit looked like they bought it from the grocery store and threw it on a plate. Weaksauce. Came back to hear Beat Union doing what British bands do, which is getting Americans to actually get off their asses and dance. Solid set, though I didn’t catch a single song title.
Katy Perry popped up, and to be honest with you, after seeing her “Ur So Gay” video on MySpace, I just thought she was going to be like Miley Cyrus sans mulleted father and with a better body. Turns out she puts on a great show, with a stage presence like Karen O, but slightly less frantic. I am now convinced that Capitol Records does not sign nor employ unattractive people. Every lady involved with that effing label is at least pretty if not god damned gorgeous. I’d at least make out with each lady I’ve met on or from that label. Must be taking their hiring practices from Hooters. Back to the show! Following up Ur So Gay was I Kissed a Girl, which leads me to believe that she will soon be bumped in every club between San Francisco and Hillcrest before the month is over. There was a random strawberry pinata, and I’m not quite sure why.
The Aggrolites melted my face off. The crowd for the Aggrolites is why I still love going to shows. No hardcore dancing kids flailing around and then getting mad when someone else hits them, no boys with mascara running down their face, no fashionistas sitting in the corner doing make up or texting on their sidekick. There was a couple hundred kids with smiles on their faces, arms locked, some hugging and everyone singing along and getting along. Beautiful. It brought a tear to my eye. Well, not really, but it did make me smile. Throwing in a couple reggae versions of The Clash and The Specials was actually pretty solid, as was the venue wide, and floor moving, sing-a-long to Don’t Let Me Down. God damn, was it a beautiful set. It’s moments like this that renew my faith in the music industry, at least the live event aspect of it. But, it’s the Hollywood traffic that ruins any goodwill I have towards my fellow man.
-The Emperor