Holy fuck, growing up is EXHAUSTING. Between buying a house, getting my masters degree, getting married, AND working a day job, I’ve been swamped. To all the bands/publicists who have dealt with my shenanigans, I am sorry. As is customary for me to catch up, here’s another batch of haikus!
Cursive
The Ugly Organ
7/10
I liked it last time.
But I’m not heart-broken now
Not as potent now
[divider_line]
Prude
The Dark Age of Consent
2/10
I don’t know what this is.
It’s like Local H mixed with
Marilyn Manson
[divider_line]
Rachel Ann Weiss
Always EP
6/10
Too smooth for my tastes
Bet tons of sex has been had
Listening to this
[divider_line]
Ali Campbell (The Legendary Voice of UB40)
Silhouette
5/10
Still UB40
Just call it UB40
IT’S THE SAME BAND, MAN
[divider_line]
Cannibal Corpse
A Skeletal Domain
8/10
DEATH BLOOD MURDER GUTS
DISEMBODY THEM ALL
SOMETHING SOMETHING DEATH
[divider_line]
DragonForce
Maximum Overload
7/10
Johnny Cash Cover?
Their fretboards in a chokehold
Still epic, still rad
[divider_line]
Mikey Erg/Warren Franklin
Split EP
9/10
Two dudes, one EP
Great songs, shit production
Fat Wreck’s still got it
[divider_line]
Cassavetes
Oh So Long
9/10
Nine out of ten, guys
I would mosh, but I got old
Last week sprained a hip
[divider_line]
Cayetana
Nervous Like Me
10/10
This is the good stuff
Great lyrics, great production
Punk rock for grown ups
[divider_line]
U2
Songs for Innocence
0/10
No. Why is this here?
Apple? APPLE DID THIS? WHYYYYY?
TIM, DO YOU HATE ME?
[divider_line]
Los Seis Pistos
Punk Will Never Die
4/10
A for effort, guys
Good to see no shits given
Music for shredding
[divider_line]
JAWS
Be Slowly
7/10
Heavy on reverb
But light on obnoxiousness
I’m OK with this
[divider_line]
Gemma Ray
Milk For Your Motors
8/10
Yea, man. A pre-made
Soundtrack for Tarantino
Some serious jams
[divider_line]
Blonde Redhead
Barragan
7/10
Fucking French people
This shit’s freaking me out, man!
CAN’T STOP LISTENING