I was supposed to just meet up with Scary Kids Scaring Kids for an interview but some members of A Static Lullaby came in for the interview so we turned it into a double interview. The guys were really nice and had a lot to say. We ended up talking about Preteens and the three types of goth kids.
Racket Jordan: Who are you guys and what do you do?
Scary Pouyan: I play in Scary Kids, and I play the keyboard.
Static Dan: I play in A Static Lullaby, my name’s Dan and I play the guitar.
Static Dane: Name’s Dane, I play bass in A Static Lullaby.
Static Joe: I’m the vocalist for A Static Lullaby but I wish I played in Scary Kids Scaring Kids [laughs]
Racket Jordan: I’ve seen Scary Kids Scaring Kids merch guy wearing booty shorts with the band name in the back, is that a hot seller with the guys?
Scary Pouyan: Um yeah, booty shorts, actually yeah, we sell about a quarter
to the guys and three quarters to the women. A lot of bros buy them, the pit annihilators, the pit thrashers buy them so they can look fashionable up in that pit.
Racket Jordan: … that’s hot!
Scary Pouyan: Yeah, specially when they’re showing a little bit of a cheek.
Racket Jordan: Racket Magazine had interviewed Zao and they said you guys had the worst band name ever [regarding Scary Kids Scaring Kids]
Scary Pouyan: Ah, Zao dude. Where did they get their name?
Racket Jordan: I have no idea, next question.
Racket Jordan: So Pouyan, I heard you fell from a ceiling during one of your performances…
Scary Pouyan: Probably
Racket Jordan: I had posted a bulletin on MySpace and a guy had replied
saying I should ask about this.
Scary Pouyan: I probably accidentally jumped.
Racket Jordan: You’re really hyper on stage, pumps up the audience. That’s a good thing.
Scary Pouyan: Yeah dude, it’s fun. I get in trouble a lot for it though.
Racket Jordan: So how often do you guys get molested by preteens at
your shows?
Scary Pouyan: Preteens?
Static Dane: that’s like 11 or 12!
Scary Pouyan: Rarely preteens. 16, 17, 15 quite frequently, but unfortunately not enough. [Laughs]
Racket Jordan: Preteens are the crazy bitches at the show!
Scary Pouyan: [laughs] Now this was all just an amazing joke.
Racket Jordan: OK, so the thought of Courtney love makes me sick, what do you guys think of her?
Scary Pouyan: Courtney love?
Racket Jordan: Yeah, what do you think of her?
Scary Pouyan: Oh, she is definitely not attractive to me at all.
Static Dane: She should just walk right in front of a train! AHHH AHHH!
Static Joe: She shouldn’t even be allowed to have children.
Static Dane: She is still having children?
Static Dan: I don’t know!
Racket Jordan: She already has a child.
Static Dane: I think her child would be better off with the dead father!
Racket Jordan:….. Oh shit!
Scary Pouyan: WOW, you just took it to another level. That’s like shock value dude.
Racket Jordan: so who are your guy’s influences?
Scary Pouyan: Steve really likes DragonForce a lot, and then he also likes bad metal. As long as it’s metal he likes it no matter how awful it is, but yeah DragonForce we can all agree on. [Pouyan than names another band that he personally likes more than DragonForce but I couldn’t understand what he said but I had no idea who they are and he goes onto say how solid they are]
Racket Jordan: So how does it feel when people ask you for your autograph?
Scary Pouyan: I don’t know, I mean I guess its just whatever.
Static Dan: I’d rather have people ask for it, than not ask.
Static Joe: John Death took a picture of himself signing an autograph and sent it to his girlfriend. [Laughs]
Scary Pouyan: are you serious? [Laughs]
Racket Jordan: Who’s John Death?
Static Joe: John Death plays guitar for Static.
Racket Jordan: Yeah Pouyan, I was stalking your MySpace, yes I stalk, and I saw in your comments there was a picture of you signing some guys chest.
Scary Pouyan: [laughs] Yeah I signed that dudes BOOBIES! I love it
Racket Jordan: So how addicted to MySpace Are you guys anyways?
Static Dan: I don’t have one.
Racket Jordan: I know you’re lying!
Static Dan. Swear to god.
Static Joe: No MySpace for me.
Static Dan: It gets old, it was fun at first and now it’s just not that fun.
Scary Pouyan: It’s for my band, it’s the only reason why I still have it.
Static Dane: It’s something to do when you’re bored, I use it to pick up
on girls. [Laughs]
Static Dan: Now when you’re bored you play WOW.
Scary Pouyan: OH hell yeah you do.
Racket Jordan: So what is the most entertaining thing about the Take
Action tour?
Static Dan: Uno
Scary Pouyan: Uno
Static Dane: Uno
Racket Jordan: Do all the bands get together and play?
Static Dane: Yeah, like 5 or 6 of us.
Scary Pouyan: The non-stop parties also! Like when Joe jumped into a Bush, [laughs] he dove headfirst straight into the bush, that was sick! Do you remember when you did that?
Racket Jordan: Joe, did you have a little too much to drink that day?
Static Joe: Not enough to drink! [Laughs]
Racket Jordan: How did you guys get chosen to play the take action tour anyways?
Scary Pouyan: Umm it’s pretty basic. Red Jumpsuit Apparatus picked there
favorite bands ever. Dan said they were huge fans of Scary Kids since they were way young [laughs] and I guess it’s just been a dream of theirs to tour with Scary Kids Scaring Kids, and A Static Lullaby and Kaddisfly, there a huge fan. Oh and also Emery. And than fuckin’ we just started killin’ it dude, getting them singles and selling records like nobody’s business and they just love us and were like LATER DUDES, WERE OUT OF HERE! [Laughs] what is your name again, sorry? [Laughs] So, yeah that’s pretty much how it went down.
Racket Jordan: Well that definitely works out.
Racket Jordan: How scared of gothic kids are you guys?
Static Joe: uhhh
Racket Jordan: Cause they scare me.
Static Joe: It depends on what gothic kid we’re talking about, now there’s three different goths. You got your Hot Topic goth, than there’s your crazy industrial goth who has the spikes coming out of his boots and has white contacts in. Now that guys fucked up you don’t want to mess with him. Then you got your trench coat goth who is unpredictable at first but you can learn a lot if you just talk to them.
Scary Pouyan: Yeah, they can all be good to talk to.
Static Joe: They can be, but some are just so fucking crazy you don’t even want to associate with them.
Racket Jordan: That’s how I am; I’m scared of all of them!
Static Joe: All of them? Even the hot topic goths? They mean nothing.
Racket Jordan: Hot Topic goth? Is that like the kid who wears the stripes on his arm?
Static Joe: Yeah the ones with the red and black stripes with nets
around there arms.
Racket Jordan: Yeah, I’m scared of them!
Static Joe: [laughs] What!? You gotta talk to them.
Static Dane: Yeah, the ones who cut like socks and put them on their forearm.
Static Joe: Give them a throwdown record, it will change their lives ya know. [Laughs]
Racket Jordan: All right if I talk to them and I end up dead I’m coming after you guys.
Static Joe: [laughs] I told you the classes of goths, the Hot Topic goth do not worry about, the spike boot dude…
Scary Pouyan: WORRY ABOUT!
Static Joe: Trench coat goth, well, that’s your call.
Scary Pouyan: Well it all comes down to if they are wearing converse they are not intimidating, but if they are wearing steel toe boats watch out! And if they’re a girl than whatever dude.
Static Dane: And anyone with yellow and blue dreads, I don’t know about them…
Scary Pouyan: They’re not real goths unless they have some kind of dreads.
Racket Jordan: Alright, do you guys feel that the success you have
gotten is all a dream?
Scary Pouyan: Uhhh yeah, I mean, I think we are very lucky for sure, very lucky to be where we are at.
Racket Jordan: Is it overwhelming sometimes?
Scary Pouyan: No, not at all
Static Dan: We could always be bigger ya know
Racket Jordan: Is that what you’re aiming for?
Static Dan: Naw, it’s cool man I just got high hopes. [Laughs]
Racket Jordan: Do you guys ever feel like you just want to quit?
Scary Pouyan: No
Static Dan: Nope
Static Joe: Never
Static Dane: No, it’s very lucky to have a label that loves you.
Scary Pouyan: Even getting a label is huge.
Racket Jordan: Alright that’s all my questions, thank you guys so much!
Scary Pouyan: thank you man
Static Joe: it was fun; make sure you ask every band the gothic question!
Racket Jordan: [laughs] Will do.
After the interview Pouyan told me that Zao is actually one of his
favorite bands.
-By Jordan Golladay; photos by Adam Amar