RacketBoss Jonathan had a chance to talk it up with Less Than Jake’s ‘Boner Buddy. Boner Buddy. If anyone knows him personally, that’s his new nickname. Anyways, the guy was one of the coolest cats that Racket’s had the chance to talk at.
Racket Jonathan: You know, I was talking to a bunch of your fans, and they all agree, everyone wants to know if you got laid on prom night.
Less Than Jake Buddy: I did. Now, she was already my girlfriend, so that made it a little bit easier. I know some guys who try to build up the courage to ask out their dream girl, but I had already had sex with her, so I kind of knew I was getting laid. It was at a hotel, but it was weird; my friends had the room next to us, and that was the party room, and then I was with my chick in the other one. It was like, “do I go hang out with my friends?” or “have sex with my girlfriend?” So I did a little bit of column “A” and a little of column “B.”
RJ: How often would you say you go on a Nyquil bender?
LTJB: I would say on a scale of 1-10, I’d say 0.4, and that’s because I did it once when we were in the van. There’s a stretch of the Midwest where you do a bunch of 8 hour drives every night, like from Denver to Kansas City and from Kansas City to Chicago. So you drive all this way, unload your gear in the snow, get all sweaty during your set, load your gear in the snow and drive for 8 hours. There were three 8-hour drives in a row and I was in the back pounding Nyquil trying to go to sleep. It didn’t actually work, you don’t go to sleep, you have these weird lucid moments instead. And that was my Nyquil bender.
RJ: I’m totally stoked that you’ve had a Nyquil bender, wait ‘til you OD on grape Dimetapp. Where’s your favorite place to hit a girl?
LTJB: In the cunt.
RJ: Word. What STD do you lie about not having?
LTJB: Gonorrhea, Syphilis and the clap. Mondays I lie about gonorrhea, Wednesday’s syphilis, and Friday’s the clap. On the in-between days I just don’t talk about it. But always keep this in mind – www.STDAware.com/blog/the-clap-gonorrheas-other-name.
RJ: Have you ever tried to play an instrument with your wiener?
LTJB: No. Wait, actually, I may have tried to strum a guitar, but this is not in your best interest, unless you’re using catgut strings.
RJ: Maybe a bass…
LTJB: Play slap bass with it, maybe I’ve done that, or will right after the interview.
RJ: What horrible thing would you do in lieu of ever having to hear Fall Out Boy again? I’d use Al Roker’s taint as a trampoline.
LTJB: I’d have a Klondike Bar.
RJ: That’s not a horrible thing, that’s an awesome thing!
LTJB: Yea, but it’s “what would you do for a Klondike Bar?” (shrugs) I don’t know.
RJ: Do you have now, or have you ever had “jungle fever?”
LTJB: Once, right after ‘Nam, I got jungle fever. I sweat profusely from my nipples. And only my nipples…
RJ: Not that jungle fever, the more different jungle fever!
LTJB: No, I have not.
RJ: If you could create your own reality show, what would be the premise?
LTJB: The premise would be that you were on a reality TV show on a reality TV show, on the TV.
RJ: That makes absolutely no sense.
LTJB: Like The Truman Show, but you knew you were on the show that everyone’s watching.
RJ: Doesn’t everyone on the reality TV show know they’re on TV?
LTJB: But then…I don’t know. I really hate reality TV shows, so I don’t want to make another one.
RJ: Have you ever thought about changing the name of the band to Tiger Uppercut?
LTJB: No, it would be too much groundwork to get back where we are. Tiger Uppercut, I like that though.
RJ: Alright, that’s it for us.