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Jesus Christ, there are a lot of albums. We don’t even get one percent of them, and we still get tons of shit to review. And I’m busy, maaaaan, I gotta go make nachos and drink these SWEET fucking beers I got from Shmaltz Brewing (Jewbelation Reborn and the Death of a Contract Brewer), so here’s some quickies:

Beloved_IKTPQI Killed The Prom Queen


I have no fucking clue what any of the lyrics are.



Stoke Extinguisher
Fat Wreck Chords

It’s NOFX, you know how it is.



Avett_MagpieThe Avett Brothers
Magpie and the Dandelion
American Records

Listen to this if you want to hump a hippie chick.



maria-taylor-something-about-knowingMaria Taylor
Something About Knowing
Saddle Creek

If you don’t think you want to hump hippie chicks, listen to this, you’ll definitely wanna hump hippie chicks.



Twenty One Rooms
Paper & Plastick

Even though their name looks like a Words With Friends nightmare, they rule at straightforward dive bar rock.



Untitled-4Teenage Bottlerocket
American Deutsch Bag
Fat Wreck Chords

My only bitch is that it’s too short.



13600The Head and the Heart
Let’s Be Still
SubPop Records

Makes me wanna go camping and stare at mountains and streams and birds and shit.



The+Greater+Wrong+of+the+Right+skinny_puppy_the_greater_wrongSkinny Puppy
The Greater Wrong Of The Right
Nippon Crown

It sounds like Kraftwerk is on drugs and trying to re-do the soundtrack for The Matrix Revolutions.



de_3137_lg_v1Jewbelation Reborn
Shmaltz Brewing

Thank God I’ve gone back and checked everything in the morning, because 17% beer kicks you square in the brain.



DOACB_BODYDeath of a Contract Brewer
Shmaltz Brewing

I’m sloshed as all balls, so why do I keep drinking this!?




-Jonathan Yost