Oh. Fancy sent us another box, one that just happened to show up during my housewarming party. While everyone else was bringing us beer and windchimes, Fancy was sending me another box full of random, and rad, products.
I was JUST telling my fiance that we need one of these things so the next time we find ourselves at some lengthy graduation, church service, funeral, or any other boring obligatory time suck, we could both watch the same kitten video or Epic Rap Battle of History. Now we can.
I’m usually not about getting mystery shirts, but this one is legit. SUPER soft, and while I normally wear an XL, this shirt came in a large and still fit, which makes me feel like a champ. THIS SHIRT MAKES ME FEEL LESS FAT, GUYS!
Men’s Grooming Kit by EVO – $30
The first miss I’ve gotten from Fancy, and it is all because of the packaging. Sure, I could always use solid travel-size shampoos and conditioners, but not when the copy written on them sounds like a 7 year old Korean kid picking words randomly out of a Webster’s Dictionary. It’s described as a “condom to pain (presumably to avoid getting pain-AIDS), an aspirin to discomfort (for when discomfort is hungover), the rosary bead of anxiety (I don’t even know how to take this)… the accent to your attitude (I hate this brand).” The shaving creme, Überwurst, promises to help you be “as smooth as a baby sausage,” which I think is their way of telling you your junk is tiny. No dice, Evo, get out of here. AND WHY IS THERE A FRIED EGG AND ICE CREAM CONE ON YOUR PACKAGING!?
Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide – $14
You’d be surprised how practical this book is, and I’ve actually been meaning to grab a copy since that time I spent an entire weekend binge-watching Doomsday Preppers. I’ll probably have to leave the house more to even entertain the notion of something catastrophic happening to me, but it never hurts to be prepared.