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Matt Corbett tests his strength of will, by testing the strength of 40s. We here at Racket Magazine encourage responsible alcohol consumption by those of legal age. By “legal age,” we mean girls who say they’re legal, and by “drink responsibly,” we mean don’t spill any.

Being a student presents many challenges, not the least of which is trying to get hammered on a budget. It’s easy to get drunk on great-tasting beers like Shiner Bock or Bass Pale Ale, but how many of us can afford to keep up a reasonable drinking schedule at such premium prices? Most of us are reduced to High Life or Steel Reserve in our quest for a legal buzz. To offer a bit of guidance to those who pinch their pennies to buy hooch, I offer this humble article as a token of tender advice. I hope you clip it out and attach it upon your refrigerator so that you may consult it next time you have $5 and a hankering for spirits. Each of these fine beverages can be found in nearby liquor stores, and none cost more than two dollars, except Boone’s Farm, unless it’s on sale.