In the years since I have moved out on my own, I’ve had to come to terms with something: I hate eating out all the time (please stop giggling, you’re only making yourself look bad). My parent’s house is far too long a drive for a poor college student like me to make on a daily basis, and one can only eat so much Ramen, or dollar menus for that matter. So I had to learn something eventually all people learn (or marry/hire someone who does it for them)- I learned how to cook!
Food, oh glorious food! I discovered the joy of fried egg and mozzarella sandwiches, of cinnamon-chocolate cake, and of staying home from school to watch Michael Chiarello, followed by Paula Deen, followed by Giada De Laurentis (the shows are probably the reason I failed history class). Cooking has become one of the great loves of my life.
I tend to find that we, the good people of Racket Magazine agree on few things. It’s true, we don’t all revel in fart jokes and wookie puns. We can agree on one thing though: we all love food! In celebration of wondrous consumption and in preparation for our attendance at this year’s Newport Beach Food and Wine Festival, we have compiled some favorite recipes from a few of our staffers (and a guest or two). Please, I invite you to try out a few of our delectable delights, and to check out the fest CLICK HERE, and if indeed you find yourself in Newport on the 19th-21st, go to the damned thing. Basically, a bunch of restaurants in the area are showing off the goods for a price that you can not beat.
Here’s to good eating, see you in Newport!
Vegan Chili
By Jonathan Yost, the Emperor!
Now, I based this off a recipe from an ex, but since I never actually got the recipe from her, I had to act like a college freshman trying to remember how his mom made that amazing fried chicken. Well, after trial and error, I think I’ve gotten one that’s not the same, but still goddamned delicious. This is actually a vegan recipe, add some beef if you want, but one of my roommates is a vegetarian, so there you have it. Here goes. [Editor’s note: I have dined with the Emperor, and it was delicious.]
INGREDIENTS
• 2 big cans of dark red kidney beans
• 1 regular can of pinto beans
• 1 regular can of black beans
• 2 small cans of El Pato enchilada sauce (find this in the Mexican Foods aisle)
• 2 jalapenos, seeded and diced
• 1 onion, chopped medium fine
• 1 bell pepper, chopped medium fine
• 2 tomatoes, chopped fine (or 1 can of diced tomatoes)
• 5 cloves garlic chopped to shit.
• 2 tsp cumin
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp pepper
• 1 tsp of basil
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 Newcastle (pint bottles work best)
DIRECTIONS
Open the bottle of Newcastle and start drinking it. Dump everything else into a giant pot, or a ninja crock pot set to low is even better. Click here to see some ninja 3-in-1 crockpot reviews. If it’s a crock pot, go play Soul Calibur for a couple of hours. If it’s a regular pot, set the flames to low, and still go play Soul Calibur. Every three matches or so stir the bitch. Do this for a couple hours until it stops looking like a pile of beans and resembles chili.
My Mom’s Sweet Potato Casserole
By Luke Toney
By far my favorite dish on this earth was my mother’s Sweet Potato Casserole. Unfortunately, my mom passed away in January of 2007 from cancer. I don’t mean to proselytize anyone during a celebration of good food, but seriously…you would do well to quit smoking. A smoker for nearly 30 years, my mother was just 48 years old when cancer ravaged her body. =(
Sweet potato casserole was my mom’s contribution to the family Thanksgiving dinner, and it was, quite simply, the best dish at the table. The fact that I only got to enjoy it once per year made it all the more worthwhile. After my parents divorced in 1999 my mom relocated to Florida, and there was no more sweet potato casserole at Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving dinner continued to deteriorate over the years. Once I showed up to my grandmother’s and my conservative aunts and uncles had gotten deli food from Wal-Mart, I quit going back. I now spend Thanksgiving at Bernie’s Distillery eating a nice dinner the owners prepare for the bums and those of us without family.
Yeah, my life has been depressing the last few years. This anecdote probably has you feeling depressed. I promise, if you make this recipe, the casserole will cheer you up.
INGREDIENTS
For casserole:
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 3 cups cooked mashed sweet potatoes
For topping:
• ½ cup brown sugar
• 1/3 cup flour
• 2 tablespoons butter, softened
• ½ cup chopped pecans
DIRECTIONS
Beat the eggs, granulated sugar, and ¾ cup butter. Add milk and vanilla. Combine with the mashed sweet potatoes; spoon into a greased 2-quart casserole. Combine brown sugar, flour, 2 tablespoons softened butter, and pecans, mixing until crumbly; sprinkle over sweet potatoes. Bake at 350° for 45 minutes. Serves 6.
Cheesy Onion Mashed Potatoes
By Caitlin Elgin
More than most foods, I love good mashed potatoes. Real ones, the kind with a bit of the skins blended in, all chunky and salty and buttery. There was a time when I was growing up that out of convenience my mother would always make fake potatoes- the kind you pour out of a box and make in a microwave. Convenient, most certainly, because who wants to boil, mash, and stir up mashed potatoes after a long day of raising such terrors as me and my siblings? Tasty, most definitely not. My mom would try and spice up such bland fake-ness for me, being the complainer that I was (thanks mom!) by stirring in unexpected delights to the potatoes. Cream cheese, bacon bits, chives, onions, all these made such evil faker taters into better versions of themselves.
When I got a Kitchenaid mixer for Christmas this year (truly, one of the best gifts I have ever received), the first thing I made for my friends and I was mashed potatoes, and I took inspiration from my mother’s inventiveness. It’s never failed me yet, and I marvel every time at those of you who sit and scoop them up eat them with delight like you were eating ice cream. Come over to my house, I’ll whip some up for you.
Cheesy Onion Mashed Potatoes
INGREDIENTS
• 2 Pounds Russet Potatoes
• Kosher salt
• A stick of cream cheese
• ½ cup milk
• 1 cup shredded cheese (I usually use cheddar, but Muenster is good too)
• 1 cup French’s Fried Onions (I almost always add in more, they’re delicious!)
DIRECTIONS
Wash and cut up the potatoes. Remove the blemishes, but leave the skins on (unless you like your mashed potatoes extra creamy). Fill a pot with water (enough to cover the potatoes), toss in the potato bits, and throw a dash of salt on top. Cover and let boil for about 10 minutes, until the potatoes are easily crumbly when smashed with a fork. Drain. Dump into a bowl with the milk, the cream cheese, and 2/3s of the shredded cheese and onions. Blend together with a potato masher or some sort of mixer. Throw the remaining cheese and onions on top, and throw into the oven at 350° for 5-10 minutes, until the top is bubbly and starting to brown. Serves 8.
Grandma Winn’s Chocolate Cake!
By Jack Winn
For as long as I can remember, one of the main comfort foods in our family has been- and continues to be- chocolate cake. Even today, the sweet smell of the dough rising in the oven is enough to get my attention, and yes, I still lick the spoon. By itself, this means nothing. After all, millions of Americans have fashioned the confection in some form or another, either from family recipes or tips from household magazines. The difference between our recipes and theirs is ours has been a family secret handed down from grandmother to granddaughter since time immemorial, and now I am sharing that decadent secret with you.
INGREDIENTS
For cake:
• 2 cups self-rising flour
• 2 cups sugar
• 1/4th cup cocoa
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup boiling water
• ½ cup oil or 1 stick of butter
• ½ cup buttermilk
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla plus a pinch of salt
For icing:
• 1 box confectioner’s sugar
• 1 stick of butter
• 6 teaspoons of milk
• 1 Tablespoon of vanilla extract
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Put all dry items (flour, sugar, et al) together and add liquids. Mix for 3 minutes with an electric mixer in medium or slower setting. Grease Bundt pan- be sure to coat the insides with cocoa- add mixture and cook for one hour.
While the cake is busy rising in the oven, combine the confectioner’s sugar, butter, teaspoons of milk and vanilla extract. Add to cake when it is warm. Let it stand or cool, and once that is done either put it in a large container or serve to friends. Voila, instant sugary decadence!
Totino’s Pepperoni Pizza Rolls
By Damara Kautz
Pizza Rolls have to be my absolute favorite recipe because they are so easy to make, convenient, and they are incredibly delicious. They are a perfect meal when you’re playing World of Warcraft, enjoying your favorite episode of The Office, or even when you’re on your break at work! I highly recommend Totino’s Pizza Rolls for any occasion.
INGREDIENTS
• A bag of Totino’s delicious frozen pepperoni Pizza Rolls.
DIRECTIONS
Place approximately 8 pizza rolls on a plate. Put the pizza rolls in the microwave for 1 minute and 25 seconds (or however long it takes to get them hot!). When done cooking, let them sit for a few minutes so you don’t burn your tongue.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Cheesecake
By Gail Navarro
My sister’s best friend came up with this recipe. She would always bring this delicious dish to family parties and during the holiday season in particular.
INGREDIENTS
• Pie pan with graham cracker crust (found in the baking isle)
• 1 block (8 ounces) Philadelphia Cream Cheese (let thaw for a couple of hours)
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 egg
• Nestle chocolate chip cookie dough roll
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven 350 degrees. Whip cream cheese and sugar until smooth (I just use a fork). Pour into pie pan, and crumble about 1/3 cookie dough on top. Bake for 45 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.
Mom’s Lasagna
By Krystle Taniguchi
My mom made this one all the time when I was a kid- super simple and tasty. I can remember watching her make it too- it was one of the few seriously time-consuming meals she ever made. It was the best though. She was making it for lunch at my middle school one time, and I was happy because it was one of my favorites, but my friend at the time maintained that she didn’t like anyone’s lasagna but her mom’s and so she wouldn’t like it no matter what. Then she tried it and all the little people at the school, her included, gave it rave reviews. Mom was a hero and I got to brag. It felt pretty cool to have a good cook for a mum.
INGREDIENTS
• 2 lbs. ground beef
• ½ cup diced onions
• Garlic powder
• Oregano
• Dried parsley
• Garlic salt
• 1 jar Prego pasta sauce
• 1 package lasagna noodles
• 1 16 oz. package cottage cheese
• Shredded Parmesan cheese
DIRECTIONS
Boil noodles until they are al dente (that means slightly stiff), drain, and put on ice water to prevent further cooking. Brown beef with onions and garlic salt (to taste). Mush up cottage cheese and mix in oregano, parsley, and garlic salt (again, to taste). Layer the bottom of a 9×13 pan with pasta sauce, and add a layer of noodles to the pan (always cut them to fit!). Add a layer of cottage cheese mixture, then sauce. Add another layer of noodles perpendicular to the first layer (that means going in the other direction, don’t forget to cut them), top with beef, mozzarella, and sauce. Continue building layers until you are out of noodles. Top with sauce and parmesan cheese. We prefer to set overnight because it tastes better. Bake at 350 degrees, until the center reaches 165 degrees and the top is nice and bubbly.
-Foreward by Caitlin Elgin