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l_e6bb4e6d16e44e3db10c2fc87ec9066a.jpgTwo Tongues
Two Tongues
Vagrant Records
6/10

Here’s how I imagine Two Tongues starting:

Max Bemis (of Say Anything): God, who can I partner with to highlight how manly my voice is?

Chris Conley of Saves The Day: Oh! Oh! Me! Pick Me! With my feminine voice and your masculine one, we’ll be the non-incestual Donny and Marie of Indie Rock!

Ol’ Beamer: AWESOME!

And so Two Tongues was born. Beamie says that it’s supposed to be platonic, but I highly doubt it. Example from “If I Could Make You Do Things:”

Beamie: Please don’t turn away
CeCe: I don’t have much to say
Beamie: Say it anyway

What? Are they breaking up? But they just started! Oh, sad day! This happens for several songs. CeCe and Beamie go on for a back and forth for a dozen tracks, with an interlude sung by an unknown lady. She is probably the only person not credited in the liner notes. At least, in the day and age of ironic covers of crunk hits and 80’s one hit wonders, their Ween cover of “Even if You Don’t” is amazingly solid.

And while Beamie’s trademark womanizing is not particularly highlighted, I do want to bring up that at one point he mentions being a drunk tranny. I am not kidding. On “Silly Game” he waxes poetic: “I play a silly game where I’m dressed in drag, wasted, smoking a fag.” Sexy…? As long as you don’t read into it too much, it’s a catchy song. Play it for your homophobic fratboy friends for a solid laugh. Hey Max and Chris, how abouts I go back to secretly enjoying Say Anything and you two go back to seeing other people, deal?

-Jonathan Yost