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So, some of you may be familiar with our Haiku Reviews, which are meant simply to help us catch up on the back log of records we’re supposed to review. Well, this is a group of records I also wanted to get covered, but I had a bit more to say about them. Now, with a variety of beers, Iron Chef on mute and some drunk texting, I present: The Racket Teenage Poetry Review Corner.

City And Colour
Little Hell
Vagrant Records
9/10
He is sad.
I am sad.
He makes me sad.
I am happy that he makes me sad.
Our sadness is beautiful.
Our sadness is glorious.
Our sadness is…well produced with rock solid instrumental arrangements.
Our sadness is totally gonna get me laid when I put this on during makeout.
Our sadness is boioioioioioing.
Frank Turner
England Keep My Bones
Epitaph Records
9/10
I speak English, but I am not English.
I grew up on a continent, not an island.
I know not of what he expresses in song.
But, it is expressed.
Feelings, expressed.
Longing, expressed.
Desire, expressed.
Homesickness, expressed.
History, expressed; a capella, even.
Kicking ass, expressed.
It is expressed in songs of godlessness.
It is expressed in songs of oldies.
It is expressed in songs of…wanting to be inside me?
Is that what I am hearing?
It is expressed in “Hi, my name is Chris Hanson, why don’t you have a seat?”
It is expressed in sweet tea.

Weerd Science
Sick Kids
Horris Records
7/10

This is not science, it’s Weerd art
Weerd art about, you know, drugs and stuff
The Weerd art about being a fuck up
A scumbag, a loser, a dipshit
The art of mixing anxiety
And fat beats, the fattest, or is it phattest?
My art of empathy is lost to the jealousy
Fuck I wish I could drum like that
Fuck I wish I could rap like that
Fuck I wish I was that lyrically clever
Fuck I am glad I’m not that neurotic
Art’s a bitch.

Mariachi El Bronx
II
ATO Records
8/10

the latin passion+
pulses
the horns *
tooting
the outfits
matching. )(tassled. skin-tight;
i eat chips and salsa; a celebration
i dance,, a celebration
es bueno
es mas bueno;.
ee cummings) was a twat
these guys kick ass

 

Less Than Jake
Greetings From
Sleep It Off Records
7/10

There once was a band from Gainesville
Whose ska was anything but plainsville
Catchy hooks in your brain
Their trombone has slain
You dance til your ankles are sprainsville

 

Rival Sons
Pressure and Time

Earache Records
6/10

Amazing
Badass
Course
Diabolical
Exceptional
Frantic
Grungy
Heavy
Intense
Juvenile
Kinetic
Libidinous
Massive
No kidding
Opulent
Party
Quarrelsome
Ravaging
Savage
Thrilling
Untamed
Vociferous
Wolfmother-y
X-treeeeeme
Youthful
Zippy

 

Of Mice and Men
The Flood
Rise Records
5/10

You scream
We don’t understand each other
What are you trying to say
Different generations
Dark and complex
Harshness surrounds you
We beat to different drummers
The difference between you and my mother
Is better guitar riffs

 

Nick 13
Self Titled
Sugar Hill Records
8/10

Rockabilly Sucks
But your country album rules
Fuck yea for flannel

 

 

Gentleman’s Pistols
At Her Majesty’s Pleasure
Metal Blade Records
6//10

My dad.
The bastard.
The bassist.
The chauvinist.
The mildly racist.
The pervert.
The man-child.
The guy who called White Snake “The Gods of Metal.”
The guy who would fucking love this record.

 

The Dear Hunter
The Color Spectrum (CD)
Triple Crown Records
9/10

The colors of the rainbow shine bright through the darkness
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple
Fuck poetry, someone buy me this fucking set, the CD’s a total cocktease.

-Jonathan “The Emperor” Yost