Usually, when I get behind on albums to review, I do something stupid like THIS, THIS, or THIS. I had fully intended on doing one of these stupid things, but then my officemate said something really funny and I had an epiphany: write down what he says and then I don’t have to come up with anything myself. It went well:
Monster Magnet
Milking The Stars: a re-imagining of Last Patrol
“It sounds like you’re listening to a Doors cover band. Is this a Doors cover band?”
“No.”
“Are you sure? These guys are hacks.”
Agreed.
Decemberists
What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World
“Are you sad? Turn this shit off.”
I actually REALLY like this record, FYI.
Senses Fail/Man Overboard
Split EP
“Senses Fail? REALLY? UGH, you should slit your fucking wrists already.”
Suicide is not a joke (but Senses Fail kind of is). The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1 (800) 273-8255.
You, Me, and Everyone We Know
Dogged
“Who’s this?”
“You, Me, and Everyone We Know.”
“More like You, Me, and Everyone We Know hates this band. This is awful. The whole ‘kicking it into puberty’ thing went out in 2004. It’s like HIM and All American Rejects had sex and had Linkin Park babysit the offspring. I have no doubt that they look like this:
Pillow Talk
What We Should Have Said
“This ain’t bad. I could dig this. Oops, until they started singing. This guy listened to a lot of The Cure. Just an idea, maybe they should go out and met new girls instead of singing about what once was.”
Torche
Restarter
“Who sends you this? It hurts my ears. It’s lunged. I don’t like it, Yost. Check your phone. Is this who’s playing?”
toyGuitar
In This Mess
“This is spot on, and you know it.”
Bowling For Soup
Songs People Actually Liked Volume 1 The First Ten Years (1994-2003)
*Chuckles to himself*
