I Want To Be Your Joey Ramone
Stephanie Kuehnert
MTV Books
8/10
If the author is anything like lead character Emily Black: dibs on Kuehnert. Dibs so bad. Basically, Kuehnert makes me feel like a pervert for a few chapters by writing about some hot punk chick fucking punk band members because she wants to feel the raw energy she felt in the crowd, but, you know, between her legs. Then she starts a band with her friend and her friend’s soon-to-be boyfriend. Somehow they become huge. Tours, stadiums, and fucking lesser band frontman with a rip off of the Sid Vicious moniker of Johnny Threat.
Oh, yea, and her mom left her when she was younger because she killed a rapist, blah blah blah. Her dad is supportive, though he doesn’t see his daughter as ultra-mega slut. Relationship issues make her bounce, stereotypical drug use blah blah blah. Breakdown on stage, blah blah blah. Big emotional ending and huzzah! The ending is open but hopeful. This book could be any real band’s Behind the Music, but Kuehnert creates some realistic characters that drag you down past reading it on the shitter. Congrats, Steph, you got me to read a whole fucking book for once. Solid writing, Ms. Lady. You come to SoCal, look me up.
-The Emperor!