Sherlock Holmes- “Bros Before Hoes”
Warner Brothers
7/10

Sherlock Holmes trades in his opium pipe and monocle for a pile of action-packed Blow and brass knuckles in this Bro-rotic romance bowler-hat adventure.

Holmes is given a case seemingly more fitting for Scooby Doo- tracking down a spooky magician’s ghost. You know the drill: ancient cult, dudes in robes, world domination, diffusing a bomb, if it weren’t for those pesky kids… Unlike Scooby Doo, though, Holmes is out to get laid. The twist is, he has his sights set on his trusty companion Watson. Jealous that his dear Watson has found a lady friend Holmes tries to win him back with the promise of danger, adventure, Jr. Jumble brain teasers, and an allowance. Which all in all, is pretty successful and fun to watch.

To cover the hot and heavy action between him and Jude Law, Sherlock Downey Jr. is paired with a half-hearted love plot with a would be Carmen San Diego, but it misses the mark. The female love interests come off as boring and forgettable. The film needed a Monica Bellucci and only got a tepid Rachel McAdams, who rung more like “Naughty Teacher” than “Criminal Mastermind”. Too bad for Guy Richie they blew that wad casting her already in “Shoot ‘em Up”. Though admittedly, a rack like that would be wasted on a PG-13 film.

Vs.

Action sequences were over the top, but felt slow and drawn out despite the heavy use of footage speed-manipulation. I came in expecting non-stop action-packed absurdity and only got a baconated Snidely Whiplash tribute. If your fight sequence isn’t choreographed well enough for us to think it is cool without a slow-mo step by step walkthrough then it doesn’t cut it. Also, punching things looks neat- we get it.

Still, the movie is a fun romp that doesn’t get tainted by too much steampunk non-sense. It’s worth seeing even if you are left feeling like they could have done more with it. And with a sequel featuring heavy-weight nemesis Moriarty already underway before the film even hit theaters, you’ll get the chance to again.

-Laura Gaddy