Sherlock Holmes- “Bros Before Hoes”
Sherlock Holmes trades in his opium pipe and monocle for a pile of action-packed blow and brass knuckles in this Bro-rotic romance bowler-hat adventure.
Holmes is given a case seemingly more fitting for Scooby Doo- tracking down a spooky magician’s ghost. You know the drill: ancient cult, dudes in robes, world domination, diffusing a bomb, and “If it weren’t for those pesky kids!” shenanigans. Unlike Scooby Doo, though, Holmes is out to get laid. The twist is, his sights seem set on his trusty companion Watson. Jealous that his dear Watson has found a lady friend Holmes tries to win him back with the promise of danger, adventure, Jr. Jumble brain teasers, and an allowance. Which ends up being pretty fun to watch.
To cover the hot and heavy action between him and Jude Law, Sherlock Downey Jr. is paired with a half-hearted love plot with a would be Carmen San Diego, but it misses the mark. The female love interests come off as boring and forgettable. The film needed a Monica Bellucci and only got a tepid Rachel McAdams, who rung more like “Naughty Teacher” than “Criminal Mastermind” and let’s face it, a rack like that would be wasted on a PG-13 rating.
The fight sequences were over the top, but felt slow and drawn out despite the heavy use of footage speed-manipulation. I came in expecting non-stop action-packed absurdity and got a baconated Snidely Whiplash tribute. A fight sequence should be choreographed well enough to look cool without it’s own slow-mo step by step walk-through. Punching things looks neat- we get it.
Still, the movie proves to be a fun romp that doesn’t get tainted by too much steampunk non-sense. It’s a film worth seeing even if you’re left feeling like they could have done more with it. With news of a sequel featuring heavy-weight nemesis Moriarty already underway before the film even hit theaters, it looks like you’ll get the chance to see them try again.