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Big Money Rustlas
3/10 or 8/10, I can’t tell.

Big Money Rustlas is, get this, a WESTERN, starring INSANE CLOWN POSSE…in full on CLOWN MAKE-UP. Let that sit for a second. Savor it.

The king Juggalos, ICP, star in what could have been a 70’s B Movie, but instead stands as a testament to the weirdness that non-Juggalos see in everything that is Psychopathic Records. The obsession with Faygo, stoner humor and, well, the fucking make-up are all well-represented, but along with the basics, you have what could actually pass for a plot in there, too.

While the sexist comments and focus on their “mothafuckin’ mon-eeeeeyyyyyy” are all I could have hoped for, the movie was actually better than I could have ever dreamed. Between the midget sex and the death by stinkfoot lays a who’s-who of D-lister cameos, including Vanilla Ice, Tom Sizemore, Ron Jeremy and Dustin Diamond. Screech, man! Motherfucking Screech is in this!  Jason Mewes pops in, as well. I bet Kevin Smith was too busy banging his hot wife and blogging about it to have an intervention for his heterosexual life partner.

The story follows the skinny clown as he comes back to a town where his father and a (terribly stereotypical) gay brother were gunned down by the fat clown, who is some kind of gambling tycoon/town tyrant. A typical redemption story told as ludicrously as possible, Big Money Rustlas somehow had a budget of 1.5 MILLION dollars. I’m sure most of that went to the “catering” services for the guest stars. The catering table probably looked like a scene from Blow. Every scene from Blow.

If you are a Juggalo, I’m sure you will immerse yourself in the expansive special features, including music videos from Psychopathic artists, a behind the scenes and more. If you are not, you will probably be doing what we did and have some friends over for beers and laugh your balls off at Big Money Rustlas. Well, you’ll laugh until you realize that these dudes make more money in a year than you ever will.

-Jonathan “The Emperor” Yost