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You know what, I might have had a bad time at the Drinking Made Easy Tour, but I will most definitely support Zane Lamprey in his future endeavors, such as the new Drinking Made Easy show on HDNet. I still can’t bear to delete any of the Three Sheets I have on the DVR, even though I’ve seen ’em each like 6 times. This interview was right before the tour, but with the new show popping up soon, I think now is the time to unleash this upon the world.

I read some other interviews with you trying to avoid asking questions you have already answered.

Good Luck!

Yeah.  Have you ever thought about getting an apprentice for your show?

Well this guy, and I don’t know if I am pronouncing his name correctly, Jonathan Yost, I’ve been after him for a long time, to sort of take over my job. Do you know him?

I do and I’m actually trying right now, this is me having beer for breakfast.

What are you drinking for breakfast?

Well I already had a Guinness and now I am having a Miller High Life.

You are visiting both sides of the spectrum my friend. You are doing a very excellent job.

Its like a black and off white versus like a black and tan.

Black and yellow.  Is that what people think of me? That I am like, I wake up with a beer in my hand?

NO.

And that I go through my day carrying around a beer?

No. That is just what I hope. If I think about it I realize that its probably not actually accurate but I just really hope and dream that that is a job out there.

I don’t want to crush your hopes and dreams, so yes, I am in fact sitting in my office right now I have in the middle of my desk a keg tap that pours fresh beer, cold, all day long. I pretty much just kind of keep the stream running. You know?

I just like that there is hope out there that  one day I can get a job where I just go to places and drink. I think you bring a lot of men hope.

Yeah, yeah, that certainly is a goal for a lot of us. I have somehow found a way to capitalize on that. I don’t ever ask why me, you know? I just sort of go along with it. I just hope that no one calls me on the fact that I have just been faking it for four years. I’m not actually this knowledgeable and I’m just a goofball, you know?

I was actually going to ask you if you ever had any formal education in booze?

Well not prior to “Three Sheets.” I was sort of interested, well not even that, I was interested, but you know, as an aspiring host back then, and an actor, you have a tendency to want to spread yourself thin so that you don’t sort of pigeon hole yourself and then end up corn-holing yourself into a specific position, you know.  So it could have been cars, it could have been home improvement, it could have been gardening, I think I would have been able to really embrace anything that I got into. Back then I tried to be more of a renaissance man and be able to do a lot of things equally unwell.  But I guess when I was blessed or lucky enough to be thrown into a job where I travel around and get to, its not even necessarily the drinking, of course the drinking is great, its just the fact that my job is a leisure time activity. Anytime I’m doing a job, even when I’m doing this right now, an interview, I mean this is fun to me.  So any of the stuff, doing stand-up on stage, going off and doing interviews, even editing and all the other stuff; you know the writing that goes along with it, I mean I’m having a blast.

Yeah, before I started doing Racket, I was also interested in anything that would pay me. Luckily now, you know, this job is fun too because I don’t have to wear pants and I can just drink whenever I feel like it while working.
ZL: Yeah, its like, you know, I at one point hosted a “Girls Gone Wild” infomercial, so I could have become an expert on pornography.

Oh…Yeah…Me too…I’m not already…

But I moved on and here I am today: drinking my way into the hearts of people across the country.

Right. You asked if people think of you as just waking up with a beer IV, I was wondering if people have come up to you while you were filming and try to like out-drink you or like out do you.

I get offered that a lot. I put my email out there for the world and I address each one, sometimes it takes me a while to get there but I do get to them, its zanelamprey@gmail.com. I get a lot of invitations to A) Come to a wedding; its open bar, you can drink as much as you want. The other is, and I have gotten this several times: come to our wedding; my wife thinks she can out-drink you. Really? Is that something you want to do at your wedding? Try to out-drink me? I am not here to out-drink anybody. Its not like that scene from Indiana Jones where they are sitting there doing shots for shot to see who passes out first. No. Of course, that is a pretty good picture of what it was like with me in college, but not me anymore.

What did you go to college for?

I have no idea. I don’t know why I went to college, that’s a good question. No, I actually majored in oil painting.

Really?

It sounds like I was just trying to take the easiest course, but I actually had won some awards and stuff and I went there on an art scholarship.

Nice, we actually have a couple of artists for Racket. One is on the English women’s national soccer team (Karen Bardsley, @KLBardsley!), and another, we have these MP3 compilations you can download, they are all these album art parodies, like the new one is a Def Leopard “Hysteria” parody.  Christine ( ChristineCurry.com) paints them all by hand and its insane how good she is.

Its one of those things, I don’t understand the wiring of it. Why it is the way that it is, but, um, sorry I am in a parking spot, did that guy just hit my car? Anyway, that wasn’t a weird reference or anything, I am actually in a parking spot, someone was pulling out, I thought they hit my car. Anyway, its weird, the wiring of being able to do that kind of stuff and being able to do all my art and graphics and stuff. It was oil painting but now I don’t have the time so it just turns into Photoshop and Illustrator.  All the T-shirts in my online store and all my posters and all that kind of stuff is all me. I still get to have my fun with it.

That’s rad. The publicist said that this is a local show for you, are you in LA or Anaheim, or where you at?

Currently I am on Palm and San Fernando in Burbank. This is where I live and I am currently having someone run and get me coffee.  So I am sitting in my car, waiting for my wake-up.  Now of course when it does come here, yes, I will add whiskey to it.

Do you favorite pub-grub?

Man, I love pub-grub, and it is just so bad for you. What do I like? I like chicken wings. I prefer stuff that is not terribly filling like pizza and stuff.  Man if I just drank pizza and beer I would be like a circle. Tough to say. Burgers! How bout that, I love a good burger and fries, yeah that’s the answer. That wins.

They have this thing at my favorite bar called “Irish Nachos.” Its basically nachos with French fries instead of chips. It’s all covered with cheese and salsa, and sour cream and bacon.

AHH yeah, that sounds pretty awesome. OK that’s my new favorite.

All right. I’ll let the Royal Falconer know.  On the show, I mean its all I really have to go on, I don’t really know, I have never drank with you, but you seem to be a very happy drunk. And I know I’m a happy drunk, but why do you think people become angry drunks?

Yeah, I am generally a happy person and when I drink I am a pretty jolly, fun person to be around. It’s crazy because my buddy Steve McKenna is also a really fun person, a fun guy but when he drinks he becomes…let’s just say, he drinks, we run. That sums it up.

Is it particularly cool, I mean have you sat back and though, man I’m going on this comedy tour and bringing my best friend with me, cause I read an interview where you said that he is not very good.

NO, he’s horrible.

So is it fun to put your best friend up there like a monkey on stage?

Yeah dude. Well, hey, I’ll tell you what, don’t think that Pleepleus wont make an appearance by the way.

Oh, I had no doubt.

Yeah, he, Pleepleus will probably be better at stand-up than Steve and Pleepleus, as we know, is a monkey. Well my buddy Mark Ryan one of my other best friends comes on right before me and this guy will just blow you away. I mean this guy is just hilarious. He’s amazing. He is one of those guys that you will see him and go: “Oh yeah, I’ve seen him before” or you’ll say “I’m going to see him in something big soon.” He is incredible. And then I come on and you know, I’m pretty much waiting back stage that whole time drinking so by the time I go out I’m pretty drunk and that’s pretty fun.

Now I hope you don’t have to pay for drinks at The House of Blues cause that place is effing expensive.

Is it?

Its nine dollars for a tallboy of PBR.

Drinks are…wait really? For a PBR?

Yeah, nine dollars for a tallboy.

You know what, no, when you tour you have something called a “rider” which is someone that has everything that you expect waiting for you back in the greenroom. But I have my own beer. I have my Pleepleus Beer that I drink. So that’s what we’ll be drinking on stage.

Do you brew your own beer?

Um, yes. Right now it’s a lager and we are in the process of finalizing the processes and all that kind of stuff. It’ll be an original. I’m starting off with a lager because I know people get all mad, the beer connoisseurs, “why aren’t you drinking an ale” and “why aren’t you making something super flavorful with all the crazy stuff going on, like an IPA?” But I like a lager, I drink so many things, and I love a nice flavorful beer but give me a lager and I’m happy.

Well, I’m drinking the Champaign of Beers right now so I’m not going to fault you for that.

No, that’s what it is. I mean, I had an interview and they kind of gave me some crap for it. I was like, no! They were like “Oh, you drink that?” And I’m like yeah, I’ll drink a lager or something or whatever, you know, something light and refreshing on a hot day. They were just like “NO, so many people are going to get so mad at you.” I don’t think so; I don’t think that’s the case. I think a lot of people even home brewers don’t mind a nice lager every now and then.

My best friend was a beer brewer for a year of so.

He was a home brewer or a beer brewer?

Beer Brewer, like a real brewer.

Ah, ok. So he’s not a nerd.

No, no. We’ve done some home-brewing but I use him as my guide for different beers and everything which is awesome because he does have a home-brewing set-up and he just makes the same beers he made at work.

Oh, so he is able to replicate those on a small scale and have them taste very similar?

YES.

AH, that’s impressive.

How many bottles of booze have you brought back from your travels?

I guess a few hundred. You are limited to five when you bring them on a plane. The problem is that sometimes I go to four countries, I’ve never been stopped but sometimes I’ll bring, well I’ve brought 12 before.

On the show what percentage of the drinks that you consume do you actually pay for?

OH, I haven’t paid for a drink in four years.

God, your job rules.

Except for coffee. Yeah, you know, you just go out there and there is always someone that it seems it would make them happy to be able to buy me a beer so I let them.

That rules so much.

-Jonathan “The Emperor” Yost