A password will be e-mailed to you.

Can I Get A Witness? Yes, Rihanna will do.

celebs6-1.jpgThe celebrity world found itself in a downward spiral this week, with Chris Brown, Candy Spelling, and Paris Hilton leading the way down. Surprise, surprise, the drama between Rihanna and Chris Brown just keeps on building. As the bruises lose color, the courts are getting fired up. If Chris Brown is tried as scheduled on June 22, little Ms. Barbados will testify against him. Funny, since pictures of Chris and Rihanna have just surfaced on the internet, with Chris saying that he isn’t a monster. Except in the pictures, I can’t tell which one is Chris and which is Rihanna. No wonder they broke up, without makeup Rihanna is a dead ringer for Chris. No pun intended.

On a Massachusetts radio station, Candy Spelling basically convicted her daughter, Tori, for the death of Aaron Spelling. She blames Tori for the stroke Aaron had since he died 5 or 6 years after Tori stopped any type of communication with him. Very logical reasoning, it’s not like the man was old, or anything. Personally, if he died from a stroke, my first guess would be he saw his own wife first thing in the morning. Now that is some scary stuff right there.

Paris Hilton’s vagina (and the rest of her awkwardly tall, anorexic body) has been spotted all over Cannes grinding on her boyfriend, Doug Reinhardt. Perhaps she is trying to promote her next video, A Night in Gonorrhea City. No one be surprised if photos of Doug scratching his junk surface soon.

Going along with news from south of the border, which pop star apparently “forgot” it was her time of the month when trying on couture clothes? The one and only Britney Spears. Honestly, Britney, we know you have your hands full, what with all the lawsuits and tour dates and everything. But, seriously? This is just getting ridiculous. She’s wasting enough money at AMPM, can’t she just hire someone to remember when it’s her time of the month?

The winner for most outrageous Twittering for the week goes to Kimora Lee Simmons, who twittered moments before giving birth to her latest child. “Having contractions now! Ooo- wee! It’s like WHOA!” were her exact Twitter words. Thank god for Twitter, otherwise I never would have known childbirth was comparable to WHOA.

I know I am just one of many who wait with bated breath to see what other nonsensical celebrity antics come in the future. Let’s make it a good one, guys.

–Cortney Long