This is what happens when The Emperor heads down to an interview of an artist I’ve never heard, with no questions, and no real concern for the subject’s thoughts or feelings. In the alley behind the Glasshouse, I opened Dan of PlayRadioPlay’s eyes to the joys of dumpster diving and we discussed a mutual love of $2 Sammies and a mutual ignorance of sperm donation standards.
The Emperor!: What bodily fluid can you just not stand?
PlayRadioPlay Dan: I think I’m down for all bodily fluids.
TE!: Really?
PRPD: I love them all, yea. I don’t discriminate. I’m trying to think of what, but snot and pee, it’s like whatever.
TE!: But puke’s gross! If I got pee on me, I’d be like, whatever, but if someone puked on me…
PRPD: Puke is worse than feces.
TE!: Absolutely. Have you ever puked and it looked exactly like it did before you ate it?
PRPD: I don’t think so, I’ve probably thrown up twice in the last ten years. Maybe more than that, but everytime I throw up, I’m like “God, I hate throwing up, when’s the last time I threw up?” And I can’t remember, it must have been years before. I throw up very seldom. I don’t drink or overeat that often.
TE!: Is there a reason for that?
PRPD: I’m straight-edge actually.
TE!: Why?
PRPD: I don’t drink or do drugs or smoke. I just don’t do that.
TE!: Do you think it’s ironic when straight-edge kids have XXX tattoos on them to symbolize not putting chemicals into their bodies when tattoo ink is…a chemical?
PRPD: Well, I mean, for me, it’s about not letting any chemical not alter how I am naturally.
TE!: But that’s what food does. The sugar in fruit will pep you up when you’re naturally sluggish.
PRPD: Well, you live because you eat food. You don’t live when you do the other stuff.
TE!: I suppose.
PRPD: I try to drink very little caffeine, maybe only when I’m driving the van late at night and I have to stay awake.
TE!: Have you found the bumper stickers that say “vegetarians taste better” to be true?
PRPD: Well, I’m not a vegetarian, but my girlfriend’s a vegetarian, and she’s the best tasting girlfriend I’ve ever had.
TE!: You should tell her that; “I love you, you’re the best tasting girlfriend I’ve ever had.”
PRPD: Yea.
TE!: Does she ever get jealous of girls tossing themselves at you?
PRPD: No, not really, I think everyone knows the story of Madi, Don’t Leave, so I think everyone’s pretty respectful. There’s always the drunk chicks, and when you’re drunk, there’s no rules. Which is another reason I don’t drink, but there’s these drunk chicks that don’t care if you’re married with 8 children, they’re drunk. They’re drunk and they’re gunna get it on. Those are the ones that are scary. [Emperor’s note: that Madi chick is smoking, he showed me a picture…lucky dude.]
TE!: I saw your CD on sale at Target today, and is it bizarre to know that shit you’ve written, the stories of your life, is out across the country for anyone to grab?
PRPD: Yea, just because it’s in a lot of stores doesn’t mean a lot of people are buying it. It’s definitely surreal, I try not to think about it too much, I’d weird myself out.
TE!: Think about it! Do you follow in line with indie tradition and shop at a lot of thrift stores?
PRPD: No. I really don’t.
TE!: Ever gone dumpster diving?
PRPD: Nope.
TE!: You can find some gems, man!
PRPD: Really?!
TE!: Yea, I got an Onkyo component stereo system that my mom has since stolen from me. Shit cost like $700 new. One speaker was out, that’s it! Not to mention the TMNT technodrome I just got from some shit thrift store by my house. I’m gonna drive my cat around in it.
PRPD: I’ve never done it. I’ll have to try it out. Aren’t some people on the dumpster diet? They only eat out of the dumpster.
TE!: I’ve heard about it, and it sounds really unsanitary.
PRPD: But there’s people who live like that, just eat from trashcans. But they do it in places where they know people are just throwing away tons of food.
TE!: I might do it outside of a fancy restaurant, but not outside a McDonalds that has some already shit food dropped on the ground and tossed outside. I haven’t eaten at McDonalds in close to 8 years.
PRPD: I went there and got sweet tea when we were in Atlanta.
TE!: Drinking there is different, because I can’t find orange Hi-C anywhere else, and that shit is amazing.
PRPD: I think I had a burger from there like two years ago, because I was like, I want a trashy McDonald’s burger, and it made me sick.
TE!: What is your favorite food?
PRPD: I’m on a Quizno’s kick lately.
TE!: $2 Sammies….
PRPD: Yes, the flatbread Sammies!
TE!: I had them today.
PRPD: Me, too, I’ve had four of them today! I went twice today.
TE!: That means you’ve eaten twice what I have today. Which ones did you get?
PRPD: The first time I went, I got two of the Sonoma Turkey ones.
TE!: Delicious…
PRPD: And the second time I got one Sonoma Turkey and one…it’s a new one with chicken…
TE!: The Balsamic Chicken?
PRPD: Yes, I got one of those!
TE!: I like the Sonoma Turkey and the Bistro Melt…
PRPD: I like that one! Did you ever try the Champ?
TE!: Ohh, yea! The Apprentice one! I have to admit, as much as I heart Quizno’s, I was particularly disappointed in my food today.
PRPD: Really?!
TE!: Yea.
PRPD: Did you go to the one right over here (Mission Promenade, corner of Garey and Mission in Pomona, CA) with the Asian lady?
TE!: Don’t get me wrong, that Asian lady is the shit…
PRPD: She’s so awesome!
TE!: I know! I live around the corner, and my buddy and I go there all the time, but today, the dude making the Sammies was off his game. I asked for the Sammies and they pulled out these pre-made ones from underneath the meat canisters, and I thought, “well, maybe he just made them,” and went with it, they ran it through the toaster, and when they asked for veggies, I asked for lettuce, onions, guacamole and mushrooms…
PRPD: [Judgment on his face!]
TE!: Look, I like all these things, don’t you judge me! I got no lettuce and my mushrooms were actually frozen. Ice crystals do not signify freshness!
PRPD: I’ve never had a problem with Quiznos, I’ve had amazing Quizno’s experiences, and I’ve had good Quizno’s experience, but never a bad one.
TE!: It was my first sub-par one. Removing the frozen mushrooms, the Sammies were still delicious, and I will go back, but it’s a tarnish on their legacy. And that lady is awesome!
PRPD: I’ve found that the more you ask of them, the higher the chance that they’ll end up sucking. If you just shut up and let them do their thing, they’re going to give you an amazing sandwich.
TE!: See, I don’t like tomatoes.
PRPD: That’s like, my favorite vegetable.
TE!: It’s a fruit.
PRPD: Is it? Whatever it is.
TE!: I’m not a huge fruit person. I really only like pears and fruit juices.
PRPD: Really? I don’t think there’s any fruit I don’t like.
TE!: I like vegetables.
PRPD: I love like every berry. Blackberries, raspberries.
TE!: Those are alright, but they have tons of annoying seeds. They’re such a bitch.
PRPD: You have to focus on the flavor, man.
TE!: I do, however, use fruits in stuff. I made a raspberry vinaigrette the other day, it was the shit.
PRPD: That’s my favorite dressing.
TE!: Is it? I just made it up the other night, we had some friends over, and one of the guys loves raspberries, so I went with it.
PRPD: I love salads that have raspberry vinaigrette, spinach, strawberries and lots of roots.
TE!: Our salad had feta cheese, roasted peppers and pine nuts.
PRPD: I like pecans. Have you ever had glazed pecans?
TE!: I have.
PRPD: I can eat those like candy.
TE!: I’m glad I’m not allergic to them. I’m allergic to walnuts, which suck anyways.
PRPD: I’ve never been allergic to anything my entire life, but in the past year, I’ve been allergic to something, but I don’t know what.
TE!: You’re allergic to touring.
PRPD: Maybe, but it’s been happening at home, too. I’ll wake up in the morning and my eye will be swollen shut. Or maybe it’s my nose or my lip’s swollen. Or something else is swollen from something I ate, or so the doctor tells me.
TE!: You should get an allergy test.
PRPD: I know, I should. Apparently they now have blood allergy tests.
TE!: Instead of the entire needle deal?
PRPD: Rather than the needle thing. I’m not afraid of the entire needle thing, I’ve never had a problem with them, but even if you like needles, you don’t want to do that thing.
TE!: Have you ever donated blood?
PRPD: No, I haven’t.
TE!: I donated half a dozen times, and each time I made sure not to look at the needle, and the last time, the nurse jumped the gun and said I could look…
PRPD: It’s a big needle, isn’t it?
TE!: Oh, yea, when I looked, I could see down into the needle and was just like, “holy shit, eff that, I’m never doing this again.” And on top of that, when they removed the gauze, my puncture wound had not clotted yet, so my vein spat blood all along my forearm. I was just done, they got a gallon of blood from me, I was never going back.
PRPD: You know, rather than me donating blood, I’ll post a MySpace bulletin saying “someone go donate blood in my name.” I feel like I would pass out.
TE!: You are pretty small.
PRPD: Yea, I’m not a big guy, and the needle isn’t the part that bothers me, just the blood being drawn from my body.
TE!: Yea, I feel you, but my instincts were overridden by my desire for free concert tickets.
PRPD: Concert tickets?
TE!: Yea, I got to see Aerosmith for free, and Motley Crüe and the Scorpions for free.
PRPD: Nice! I would give blood to see those shows. Hopefully get backstage.
TE!: Motley Crüe was pretty sucky, but the Scorpions ruled, and Aerosmith was the shit. So, add those shows to the free orange juice and milano cookies, and donating blood was an overall decent experience. They gave me a pen for donating a gallon.
PRPD: A gallon!!
TE!: Well, after 6 times, I guess it’s a total of a gallon. You should organize a show at a blood drive.
PRPD: I should, because then I wouldn’t feel bad about me not giving blood at a blood drive. I’d still be helping to get a bunch of people to give blood. I don’t know, I should probably try giving blood before I talk shit about it. I’ll do it once, and see if it’s my thing. Have you ever donated semen?
TE!: Not to a blood bank.
PRPD: To what, then, the Salvation Army?
TE!: I gave some to a couple ex-girlfriends. I would donate sperm, but I dunno, man, have you seen the size of those cups? They’re always like, “here you go, champ, go fill ‘er up!” I couldn’t fill that thing with pee!
PRPD: I think for me, I think I’ve watched Oprah like five times in my life, and one of the times, it was super interesting…well, I’m sure it’s interesting a lot because a lot of people watch that show, but it was about people who donated sperm. There was this one dude, while he was in college, donated sperm like once a week for four years to help pay for school, and now there’s like four kids…
TE!: The autism kids?!
PRPD: What?
TE!: Oh, I just read about some sperm donor, and five of the kids born of this dude’s seed have autism.
PRPD: Really?
TE!: I thought that’s where you were going with that, but it wasn’t, so go on.
PRPD: No, it was like 18 years later, the kid met his dad, and that’s just weird. I think one of the women was a single mom, and then there was a lesbian couple that had his kids. And now they’re friends with the guy. It’s just weird.
TE!: The entire ordeal is weird, here’s a movie, spank it into a cup.
PRPD: They give you movies?
TE!: I dunno, I’ve never actually done it.
PRPD: I would assume they’d give you magazines.
TE!: Speaking of, Vivid Video sent us porn to review…
PRPD: Really?
TE!: Yea, it was exceptionally awkward. I’ve never watched one other than the original Debbie Does Dallas as a joke, and any other was just a sleep aid. I sure as hell have never seen the end of a porno other than DBD.
PRPD: Money shot?
TE!: There was like 4 throughout, and it wasn’t some massive explosion. It was like “alt porn,” you’re Suicide Girl type girls.
PRPD: Was it Burning Angel?
TE!: No, it was the Doll Underground. Which, I mean, I do recommend.
PRPD: Oh, the only reason I ask is because Burning Angel reviewed my album.
TE!: Would you ever be able to date a stripper or porn star?
PRPD: No, I mean, I mean, I’m not really into trashy stuff. My girlfriend is like the sweetest, shyest girl ever.
TE!: These are not qualities I look for in a girl anymore.
PRPD: No?
TE!: Nope. My last three girlfriends, I was their first boyfriend, and that’s a lot of pressure to rest on your shoulders. I mean, it’s like “don’t turn this chick into a lesbian.” I’m looking for someone that has some experience, also so I don’t think they said yes just because I was one of the first guys to ask. Anyways, since you buy everything new, what is the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever bought?
PRPD: Probably these $120 sneakers. They were Asics Osakas or maybe Osaka Tigers or something. They were all white, they looked kind of like wrestling shoes. They were high tops. I don’t know where they are right now, probably somewhere at home.
[Emperor’s Note: I think he meant Onitsuka Tiger, which is by Asics. I’ve hung out with way too many shoe people.]
We just went to a skate shop like a block from here [Platform Skate Shop, go check it out, dude’s are super nice.] and found some shoes I liked, they had a ten, and they had an eleven. But neither really fit. I was pretty bummed.
TE!: The one right over there?
PRPD: Yea, you know, I felt bad because I wanted to support the local skate shop and buy these shoes from them versus the Internet.
TE!: I can get behind that. Do you have a plan to fall back on?
PRPD: I want to produce, eventually. That’s my overall goal no matter how successful or unsuccessful I am. I’ve had offers to produce this year, and I just don’t have time. The label is keeping me on tour for the next couple years of my life, so I can’t really start producing yet.
TE!: You can grab a couple recording technique books and theory books.
PRPD: I know a lot about it, and a lot of that is engineering, production is a lot more artistic.
TE!: That may be true, but you still have to know that shit.
PRPD: I know a lot about that stuff because, well, I was in the studio for six months recording an album, half in the UK, half in Los Angeles. I’ve worked with some amazing producers. Garrett “Jackknife” Lee, who produced U2 and Snow Patrol. And Lester Mendez, who produced Santana.
TE!: Was there anything the producers changed that you didn’t feel comfortable with?
PRPD: In regards to doing things I didn’t want to do, I feel that in working with Garrett Lee, I didn’t get my way as often as I would like to. You know, I produced the record, but when I was with Lester Mendez in LA, it was much more of a team effort, and with Garrett Lee, I felt that it wasn’t fifty fifty.
TE!: Do you think it worked out or no?
PRPD: Well, I listen to stuff on the record that I would have liked to change, where I’m not completely happy with it. It’s not like that on the whole record, and it’s not stuff that keeps me up at night, whenever I listen to it, I hear it.
TE!: Jeez. What instrument, if money wasn’t an issue, would you want to buy?
PRPD: A vibraphone. Or a celeste. They’re both over $10,000. I have like, vibraphone sound libraries, but that’s not the same.
TE!: Killer. Well, I’m going to go take a nap.
PRPD: Awesome.
-The Emperor