Against Me! rules. That is the only reason that I didn’t edit the part where I looked like a complete jackass. If the one time Racket is wrong is to Against Me! being right, so be it. Racketeer Matt Corbett sent over some questions, and I delivered them as best I could.
-RacketBoss Jonathan Yost
RJ: This isn’t meant to be a snotty question, but what did Sire have to offer you that Fat Wreck didn’t?
Tom: It wasn’t a situation like that. We’ve done two full-length records, a DVD, 2 EPs and a live record with Fat, and that’s a lot of stuff. We were on No Idea before that, and that’s a great label, but we wanted to try stuff with Fat. As a band, you only have so much time, you never know when it’s going to end, why not make the most of it?
RJ: Trying something new, I see.
Tom: Sometimes it’s better to say “yes” then continually saying “no.” Open your mind, be willing to make mistakes, take chances, see what happens, spin the wheel of life.
RJ: Calm down. Do you really laugh at danger?
Tom: Not all the time. Sometimes I cower.
RJ: How do you respond to rumors of cocaine abuse? I’m not judging, I enjoy a little “aromatherapy” myself.
Tom: There are a lot of substances that get abused on tour. Sometimes cocaine’s the least of your worries.
RJ: OK, drugs rule. What is the beard policy in the band?
Tom: Grow one if you can. Personally, I can’t grow one, it doesn’t grow on the sides of my chin.
RJ: I feel you on that, I can rock the sideburns, and a goatee’s fine, but I can’t connect the two. I’m like Joe Dirt, the redneck is so ingrained in my DNA that it just won’t grow. But moving along, has the “No Warren Iraq” patch changed US Foreign Policy?
Tom: It’s changed things dramatically as a matter of fact.
RJ: Which genre provides dumber band names: emo or hardcore?
Tom: That’s a tough one. I think that emo has more predictable bad names, but hardcore has bad, bad band names.
RJ: Word. Are you the one foretold by the prophet Chuck Berry in the book of Johnny B. Goode?
Tom: I’ve never read the book, sorry.
RJ: You suck. Are you ever going to write songs that aren’t about substance abuse or the music industry?
Tom: We’re writing a new album, and so far there are no songs about substance abuse.
RJ: Interesting. What’s your favorite part of a porno?
Tom: I have no idea.
RJ: How do you not know?! I like all of the crazy ways that these porn stars find themselves in order to meet someone to have sex with.
Racket Brandon: I like Asians.
Tom: Men and women?
RJ: The dudes make him feel better about himself, and his yellow fever takes over on the women.
Tom: I’m not going to answer that, I pass.
RJ: Unbelievable! Would Against Me! win in a fight against a bear?
Tom: I think so. Andrew would be down. Personally, I think Warren would be the first to cry. James would be good.
RJ: Who’s better making beer, America or the UK?
Tom: You know, I probably won’t be very popular for saying this, but Budweiser is a pretty good beer. On a hot day, when the beer’s cold, a fucking good Budweiser’s top notch, man! It’s not fancy.
RJ: Yea, MGD’s not fancy, either, but it’s way better than Bud! Whatever, man, you keep on keeping on.
Tom: Well, name a good beer from the UK.
RJ: Well, I’m down with Guinness.
Tom: Guinness is Irish!
RJ: Dammit! I was thinking European, whatever. Northern Ireland is part of the UK.
Tom: Yes, but Guinness is made in Ireland.
RJ: Fine! Boddingtons and Tetley’s are two delicious UK beers. I don’t even care about this any more!
Tom: No! The Irish would be pissed at you!
RJ: You know what, fuck the Irish! What do they know? Potatoes and whiskey, that’s what.
Tom: They make a damned good beer.
RJ: That they do. Whatever, I don’t care, you’re a jerk.
Tom: Well, at least I know the difference between Ireland and North Ireland.
RJ: Whatever, shut up. Does Warren get the most chicks?
Tom: Yes.
RJ: Are they all gross crust-punk chicks with nostril piercings?
Tom: Some. A good 35% are.
RJ: What are the rest?
Tom: Hippies across the board. Lots of unshaved legs, Warren’s a very accepting person.
RJ: Is he hard up or something?
Tom: No, he’s not hard up at all.
RJ: Do you like the smell of your own farts?
Tom: No.
RJ: What’s your favorite part of Wayne’s World?
Tom: I like the fight scene between Wayne and Tia Carrera’s father in Wayne’s World 2. It was all overdubbed and very funny.
[Now, right here, I wanted very badly to point out that Wayne’s World 2 is, in fact, not the same as Wayne’s World, but I didn’t want to be like that smug bastard.]
RJ: Do you think that Bono is an obnoxious jackass?
Tom: I think he used to be really cool, then he got a bit annoying, yeah.
RJ: I’m bored.
Tom: OK.
RJ: I’m done, later.