What do you mean you don’t get to fight a Kraken?!
Bio Shock 2
8 out of 10
2K Games
Daddy’s home! Rapture is looking a bit more strung out than usual this time around. 10 years of smelling like fish chum and being damp has made the residents a bit cranky it seems. This time around you play the beefy Big Daddy- part overzealous dentist, part salvage yard worker, topped off with a set of brass balls big enough to sink a tanker. You stumble to consciousness after a bad day at work and can’t wait to get out of your diving suit and see how the your precious little angel’s day was, only to find that the Missus has flipped and is literally bouncing off the walls and threatening to kill you. As she goes off on a rant and grabs the kids and storms off, you think you hear her say something about staying at her mother’s house and the word “divorce”. News spreads like wildfire and pretty soon she’s got the whole neighborhood turned against you. It’s going to be a long day.
The game-play itself is Mousetrap on steroids with a morbid twist on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. It doesn’t take long though for your lumbering step to go from the boom shuffle of lead lined boots down a blood stained corridor to a downtrodden and browbeaten foot drag. Unfortunately, the dubious promise of getting to play as Mister Big-Stuff himself never realizes its full potential. A good chunk of the game is taking a lot of sass from punks your Grandpappy woulda washed the mouth of out with brine and soap before tossing them clean down the hallway and wringing them out to dry. The diving suit makes you feel less like an unstoppable tank and more like a thick-skinned fat kid. People can’t stop talking smack and trying to pick fights to take your lunch Adam.
This go around Rapture didn’t feel as compelling or immersive as the previous game did. The missed opportunities and particularly lackluster storyline tarnished the experience. First of all: Big ass drill + massive glass walls + being the only one in the room dressed for wet weather. Do I have to spell it out? Picture if you will, you’re surrounded by enemies dressed in non-preshrunk woolen jumpers, they think they’ve got you cornered but, no! You spy a crack in the ocean view bay window, your drill whirrs to life and with a smug grin you quip, “Sea you later!” before smashing through the glass and flooding the banquet hall with a jumbo order of sushi as a beluga whale fighting a giant squid armed with a bayonet are carried in on the massive wave. The last thing the chump goon sees before he sputters out his last breath as he is being tentacle raped is you walking away, calmly smoking a cigarette inside your helmet. Why did this not happen? Seriously.
Another huge oversight, why didn’t we get to fight sea creatures? There is a huge god damn ocean out there full of crazy shit and all we get to do is go for a stroll and collect sea slugs? You’ve got to be kidding me. Instead, you just wait around as wave after wave of enemies mindlessly attack you with little personal investment or gusto while madam dominatrix wannabe harps on about you from the overhead PA’s. The dull cult based plot-line lacked inspiration and felt like a cop out.
But, on the plus side: Double fisting and multi-player. So, there’s always that.
Overall though, I was disappointed. It felt like an honor student who settles for a low B. You can do better guys… See me after class.
-Laura Gaddy