If you know GWAR (which you fucking should), you know a show with them isn’t for the faint of heart, and the Portland stop of the Stoned Age tour was no exception.
The night kicked off with Squid Pisser, a band that’s less of an “opening act” and more of a assault on decency and sanity. They delivered an unsettling barrage of sound—a complete cacophony that felt like chaos and despair had somehow found a way to collaborate. And who else would lead this frenzied mess but Tommy Meehan, who I was excited to see later as Grodius Maximus, GWAR’s newest scumdog. He was all over the fucking place, winding his way through the crowd to the joy of the crowd and the chagrin of security.
But, I do have to give a shout out to the security team at Roseland Theater. I’ve seen hundreds of shows at dozens of venues, and these ladies and gentlemen were just… nice? Like, some of the nicest I’ve encountered—they were handing out water between acts to the folks in the front row, keeping things as safe as one could in a crowd on the brink of mayhem.
Next up was Dark Funeral, who brought an entirely different vibe—one of cold, dark, and just plain evil Swedish black metal perfection. They played with that raw, dark energy that makes your blood run cold, solidifying themselves in my mind as the epitome of black metal. Clad in leather, complete with upside down crosses and pentagrams galore, Dark Funeral are in the top ranks on the evilocity meter. When a parent despairs in hearing for the first time that their kid likes metal, they weep thinking this is the kind of metal they are into.
Then came GWAR, and the chaos was elevated to absolute spectacle. They kicked off the set with an absurdly hilarious political debate, featuring a grotesque caricature of Kamala Harris sparring with a mock, and “svelte” Trump. The back-and-forth devolved in classic GWAR fashion, with Kamala experiencing some kind of “ass malfunction” (meaning the tube attached to her prosthetic cornhole didn’t work and the crowd wasn’t subjected to her shitting on them). But, it was fine, as former president and current felon Donald Trump was disemboweled on stage. Solid debate. A++++. Would watch again.
The music was as fierce and farcical as ever, and the new addition of Grodius Maximus joining Blothar, Beefcake, Balsac, and Jizmak, gave the set a fresh edge while still hitting that classic GWAR vibe. Meehan’s guitar skills are sharp, and he brought the kind of chaotic energy you’d expect from someone who just got done fronting Squid Pisser.
The Scumdogs continued pulverizing the crowd with shredding guitars and plenty of blood while bouncing from Blothar-era jams like Motherfucking Liar and all-time classics like Sick of You. It was, in a word, relentless—just the way a GWAR show should be.