Andrew from Thursday may be a nice enough guy, but he is hands down the worst rock star ever. Doesn’t break laws, not even little ones like killing hookers!
Racket Jonathan: Hey there, who are you and what do you do?
Thursday Andrew: I’m Andrew, and I play keyboards for Thursday.
RJ: OK, Andy, would you consider your new single to be the feel-bad hit of the summer?
TA: No, not really. It’s not really mopey or melodramatic.
RJ: When you see mopey, melodramatic people, do you want to punch them?
TA: No, I don’t want to hit anyone.
RJ: You don’t want to fight me?
TA: I’m not a fighter.
RJ: Not yet, anyways. Would you ever fuck a wookie?
TA: Absolutely not!
RJ: What if you were a wookie, too?
TA: No!
RJ: NO!? You’d be some celibate preacher wookie?
TA: Sure.
RJ: Pope Wookie! Pope Wookie the Fourth! Would you go with that?
TA: Sure.
RJ: Have you ever used a beer bottle for an illicit purpose?
TA: Nope.
RJ: What’s your craziest story involving a dead stripper?
TA: I don’t have any.
RJ: Have you done anything illegal, ever!?
TA: No, not really.
RJ: You are the worst rockstar ever! Do you think Mars Volta is supposed to be boring on purpose, or do you think it’s an accident?
TA: I don’t think it’s boring.
RJ: I like it when they play music, but 20 minutes of ambient noise has got to go. It’s irritating, not artistic.
TA: To each his own.
RJ: What’s your favorite movie?
TA: Magnolia.
RJ: Don’t you think Tom Cruise looks like a drowned rat?
TA: In that movie?
RJ: Always, especially with the long hair.
TA: Yeah, I suppose he does.
RJ: Do you think that it’s funny that there’s a species of bat with a wingspan wider than he is tall?
TA: No, I don’t think it’s funny; he’s just a short guy.
RJ: What’s your favorite movie involving robots?
TA: Short Circuit.
RJ: That’s a great movie. Would you consider Thursday to be white-supremacist hardcore?
TA: No.
RJ: Then why aren’t there any black dudes in your band?
TA: Have you seen my band?
RJ: I don’t really care to check you guys out. Are there any black dudes in your band?
TA: No…
RJ: Then there you go!
TA: But you don’t know!
RJ: Dead Kennedys had a black dude in it, and they ruled! Percentage wise, how metal would you say you are?
TA: About 15%
RJ: Has Kevin Lyman ever tried to touch you in places that your bathing suit covered?
TA: No, I don’t think so.
RJ: Do you feel that D Minor is the saddest key of all?
TA: Not really, no, I think it’s B Minor.
RJ: Say one positive thing about the Bush administration.
TA: I can’t.
RJ: I got 80 bucks from them a while back. The Saturday Night Live skits are pretty rad.
TA: I wish they didn’t even have to have them.
RJ: I wanted Gore to win, it would be nice to have a president with a beard again. How do you eat your Oreos?
TA: Just pull them apart.
RJ: The standard, nice.