Just to be clear, the only bit of Silverstein I’ve heard or seen is the video snippets they play at Target while I play the Chibi-Robo display. From what I had seen, I was pretty sure that I would absolutely hate Silverstein when we met up with singer Shane and drummer Paul to do an interview. I would have, too, had they answered my first question in a different manner.
Racket Jonathan: So, are you guys juggalos?
Silverstein Shane: Juggalo?
Silverstein Paul: Juggalo or gigolo?
SS: What’s a juggalo?
RJ: Holy hell, it makes me so happy that you don’t know that. Brandon, would you care to explain?
Racket Brandon: So you know ICP?
SS: Yea.
RB: Well, they have this weird cult following known as juggalos. Now, the juggalos go around and have a “gang” and have kind of filed a jihad against straightedge kids and it’s turning into an epic battle.
SS: Paul’s straightedge.
RJ: Really?
SP: Yea. A few of us are.
RJ: I love drugs. Mostly alcohol.
SP: Alcohol’s a poison.
RJ: And I like to poison myself, so shut it.
SS: We’re not juggalos.
SP: We’re not gigolos, either.
RJ: What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever had in your mouth?
SS: No comment. No, wait, one time I was in school and I was chewing on my pen and it exploded in my mouth and I had blue ink all over my face for the rest of the day.
RJ: Do you think that Thursday started out as a Wesley Willis Tribute band?
SS: I certainly hope so. That might have been what they were going for.
RJ: Would you consider you’re latest single the “feel bad hit of the summer?”
SP: Yea, probably.
RJ: Elaborate.
SP: Well, we certainly don’t feel good about anything. That’s what Fall Out Boy’s for.
RJ: Do you hate Fall Out Boy for not being depressed?
SP: No.
RJ: Do you hate Hawthorne Heights?
SS: No, they’re actually friends of ours, we took them on their first tour for $50 a show.
RJ: So you’re to blame, got it. Do you think that racial stereotypes are funny?
SS: I kind of do. I’m the kind of guy where if I think something’s funny, I’m not going to pretend I don’t.
RJ: What’s your favorite over the counter medicine to abuse? Mine’s grape Dimetapp.
SP: Our bass player Billy is definitely an abuser of Benedryl.
RJ: Well, that’s not very straightedge. Is he a poser?
SP: He does it for the chicks.
RJ: Personally, I like the chicks that you can get wasted and sword fight or play duck hunt with.
SS: You have a point.
RJ: I always have a point. Are you a closet Snow fan?
SS: No.
SP: No. Wait, the white rapper?
RJ: Duh.
SS: Oh! I have a Snow CD. The one with Informer on it.
RJ: What does “licky boom boom down” mean?
SS: Umm, it’s about being in jail.
SP: He was put in jail by a rat.
SS: Maybe he’s talking about keeping straight.
RJ: Can we be BFF, I want to tell all the scene girls that we’re amigos so that they’ll think I’m cool as fuck.
SS: Absolutely.
RJ: Sweet. When was the last time you got caught jacking off?
SS: I almost got caught by my girlfriend once, but I’ve never been caught.
RB: I almost got caught by my sister last week. The family was supposed to be in Utah, but they came home early and I was getting down.
SP: Were you watching a Fall Out Boy video?
RB: I was going downtown in a merry go round, sugar we’re going down swingin’. Are those the lyrics?
RJ: I don’t know, I can’t understand what they’re saying ever. Shane, please explain your haircut to America.
SS: It’s what all the cool kids are doing. I found it on MySpace.
RJ: If you could be a main character from Brokeback Mountain, whom would you be and why?
SP: The one that gives, not the one who receives. Which one’s the giver?
RJ: I’d say Heath Ledger. Jake Gyllenhall looks like a pussy. Heath Ledger was all “get off my jock, bitch!” Guess the slope of the Axis of Evil.
SS: Is that calculus?
RB: Algebra, actually.
SS: X equals good?
RJ: X equals good?
SS: No, the derivative of that.
RB: Y=MX+B, dude.
SS: Rise over run?
RB: Y intercept and something about a slope.
RJ: Whatever, have you ever taken one for the team?
SP: No.
RJ: Would you ever jump on a grenade?
SP: Yes.
RJ: Alright. I’m done.
RB: I lied; I never even almost got caught.
So, it turns out that Silverstein is partially responsible for the misguided success of Hawthorne Heights. So yea, between their horrible shenanigans in the Target video snippets and Hawthorne Heights, I don’t approve of Silverstein’s actions whatsoever.
-Jonathan Yost