I used to think that Red Jumpsuit Apparatus were some weird emo band that sang about how cool domestic abuse was. For their latest album, it seems the band’s collective balls dropped due to excessive listening of Appetite For Destruction and… I dunno, hitting women or something. Look, don’t get upset. Equal rights, equal fights, amirite?
RJ: So we’ll start off with… In general, it doesn’t have to be your band, but you can say your band if you want to, who do you consider the most replaceable member of a band?
RJAJ: Hmmm… well, if you go down the list of a band, the best way to answer that is… Well, who is the least replaceable member and the first person would definitely be the singer. It’s really hard to replace a singer, nobody wants to do it, so hmmm… The most replaceable member of a band… Probably the bass player, because I’ve seen a lot of bass players go in and out of bands.
RJ: Okay, do you want to kick your bass player out?
RJAJ: No!!! [Laughs]
RJ: What’s your favorite comic book?
RJAJ: Definitely the old school X-men.
RJ: Like how old school?
RJAJ: Well let’s see, the first one I got when I was six, and I was born in 1985 so 1990’s…
RJ: Who was your favorite in that?
RJAJ: Wolverine.
RJ: Seems like he’s in everything.
RJAJ: He is now, cause he’s doing all the movies now. I wish that in the movies he was more yellow, and a little bit more hairy…
RJ: And shorter.
RJAJ: And shorter, yeah. The big thing about him was that he had a Napoleon complex.
RJ: Hugh jackman is like 6’ 2”.
RJAJ: Yeah he’s huge! But whatever, whatever, I like the Wolverine in the movies, I’m not upset about it. I love that they are bringing in characters like Gambit in the new movie.
RJ: Yeah I’m waiting to see how Ryan Reynolds does as Deadpool.
RJAJ: Wait? Ryan Reynolds, what did you say?
RJ: Yeah he’s going to be playing Deadpool.
RJAJ: Really?
RJ: Yeah.
RJAJ: I didn’t know that.
RJ:Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
RJAJ: G. I. Joe.
RJ: That’s right
RJAJ: That’s a whole nother conversation
RJ: Yeah that’s actually going to be later on… Alright here’s a question that I’ve got. We did an interview with I believe the guitarist of your band maybe about a year ago, a year or two ago, like the last album, and I’ll play people the difference between this album and last album and the question I have for you is did the singer’s balls finally drop? ‘Cause it seems that you guys went a lot rockier this time around.
RJAJ: Uh, let’s see. My comment on that would be touring for a couple of years makes you sound tougher… That’s the best way I can describe it. We spent a lot of time on this second record. A lot of time in pre-production and writing, and honestly we just like to do what we like to do and we hope that the people like it, but when it all comes down we do what we like.
RJ: Right, it does sound like on the single “You’d Better Pray” he was listening to a whole lot of Axle Rose.
RJAJ: Yeah we listen to everything man, Zepplin, I listen to a lot of jazz, we listen to a lot of hardcore because we have a lot of friends who play in super-heavy bands… So it’s interesting how we’ve just developed, because most of the record came out of us just going to the jamming room and literally just jamming, and then us going home. And then we’d put a song around it. We didn’t go in to the GM space and go, “Okay we need to write another, Don’t You Fake It,” we just went in there and said we were going to play what we want to play and put it together. Which is the same way we did Don’t You Fake It the first time, it was a matter of collaboration because on all our records we play what we want to play. We like playing different styles of music and we like finding a way to bring it all together. And it’s cool because that’s what Ronnie our singer does. He takes all these different styles of music and he brings it all together on one record because his voice is so distinct. It’s so different, it’s cool. < RJ: You know how drummers will have signature drums and signature guitars? Do you think singers feel left out because they can’t have a signature microphone?
RJAJ: Well that’s funny you say that actually, because right now I think we’re working on… Ronnie I think is getting a custom all white wireless microphone, so there you go. For everybody out there, even the singer can get something custom.
RJ: Have you gotten a bunch of free drums?
RJAJ: Well I work with this awesome company; that’s actually why I’m in Hollywood right now. It’s with DW drums, so I’m out here doing some awesome stuff with them. DW is amazing, best drums in the world so I can be out here.
RJ: Tell them to send some over here!
RJAJ: Oh for sure!
RJ: Do drummers feel left out when bands do an acoustic show, or do you just take time to go eat some Luncheables?
RJAJ: No, I mean for me I never feel left out, because a lot of the times it’s a great chance to go… You know… Drink some water… Or whatever.
RJ: What is the worst trip to the doctors you’ve ever taken?
RJAJ: Well let me just revise that question and say “on tour” because I’ve had a lot of bad experiences. I got strep throat and was bed ridden in my bunk for two weeks and they had to have a rock doctor come out onto the bus and he put a big needle in my butt and gave me a shot. That was pretty bad. And then recently, I would say within the last three to five months, the same kind of thing happened. I thought I had the flu, so I ended up going to the hospital but after like a couple of days of having it I got another shot in my butt. I don’t know what it is with doctors and liking to put needles in your butt, but it’s not fun getting a needle in your butt cheek.
RJ: That sucks! Whenever I get a shot I never take it in the butt… Do you think Christopher Walken is creepy?
RJAJ: I don’t think he’s creepy, I just think he’s very unique.
RJ: I think he’s creepy.
RJAJ: You think he’s creepy?
RJ: If I was working on like, one of those bill counters and he came in to pay his electricity bill, I would pay it for him just to get him out of there.
RJAJ: [Laughs] That’s funny. I would like to be his server at McDonald’s. I would like to see him walk in to McDonalds and I would serve him.
RJ: What do you think he would order?
RJAJ: I don’t know, maybe he’s so unique he would order something that’s not on the menu. Like chili, he’d take a bowl of chili.
RJ: You can’t say no to him
RJAJ: “But sir you’re at McDonalds.” “Okay, I’ll take a waffle.” “But sir, you’re at McDonalds.”
RJ: I could see the guy at the counter getting more and more awkward as this conversation goes on.
RJAJ: Yeah.
RJ: Did you get made fun of your name a lot when you were younger?
RJAJ: Oh you mean John Wilkes Booth? Yeah I used to get made fun a lot when I was younger, but now I just embrace it because I think it’s the funniest thing ever.
RJ: Well have you heard of the band the John Wilkes Kissing Booth?
RJAJ: No.
RJ: There’s a band called John Wilkes Kissing Booth.
RJAJ: Oh well, I’m going to sue them.
RJ: It seems when people try to make fun of names they just take the easy route. Like my last name is Yost and all I heard was every word that rhymed with it. I’m like, that doesn’t really effect me much. Any favorite websites, MySpace Facebook, YouTube, BangBus?
RJAJ: YouTube.
RJ: YouTube? What’s your favorite YouTube video?
RJAJ: There’s too many, it’s hard to describe. I am obsessed with, what’s his name… Oh, Racquetball. Racket Willy… Rack Em Willy, and it’s a bum. It’s the funniest thing you’ll ever see. He just keeps saying “Racquetball” the whole time.
RJ: You should look up Ronald Jenkees. He’s a musician, but he’s this goofy shit dude. He just plays amazing things on the keyboard, he play them to beats, like he got a beat from the drummer of Sound Tribe Sector 9 and it’s way fucking nuts, it’s absolutely amazing. I mean, technically, I have a degree in music, and it made me feel so bad about myself that I will never accomplish any of the things that he was doing off of the top of his head… What lady musicians do you find exceptionally attractive?
RJAJ: Definitely Lady Gaga and Pink. Pink in a “I will destroy you and tie you up” kind of way.
RJ: Have you ever tried to use your label people to try to make that happen?
RJAJ: No, no way. She looks like she’s definitely in a relationship with a man. That would be out of control.
RJ: Dude she’s got a bunch of money, I wouldn’t even care. She can be my sugar momma anytime, that’s fine I’ll do whatever; I’ll just sit by the pool… Whatever… What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever eaten?
RJAJ: That is a tough question, I don’t remember. I’ve eaten a lot of nasty things.
RJ: What are some nasty things you’ve eaten?
RJAJ: Vegetables! Ha ha ha…
RJ: Vegetables are the shit!
RJAJ: Well I ate a chocolate covered ant one time, a lot of people say that is gross.
RJ: That is gross.
RJAJ: Chocolate covered ant… Hmmm… I’ve eaten a lot of things that I’ve dropped that have gone way past the five second rule.
RJ: I think the five second rule really only applies to dry foods. Un-tasted jawbreakers, or something like that. But you can’t do the same thing with anything moist or wet.
RJAJ: Aw dude, I’ve done it with like a greasy French fry.
RJ: Oh that’s gross.
RJAJ: [Laughs] If it falls on my floor, if it’s still hot it’s still good.
RJ: No no no, I have roommates and they’ll drop something and there will be like five different kinds of DNA on it…
RJAJ: You’re not into eating your roommates hair?
RJ: Well you know when it’s like every piece has unique different types of hair… So you can totally tell who’s each one is. One guy has really long curly hair, one guy has fairly long straight hair, one guy has super thick hair, and then there is a black dude who’s hair is very small and curly. And uh, you can totally tell each persons hair. Do you have any pets?
RJAJ: Yes I do, my girlfriend and I have a pet and it’s a Boston terrier by the name of MoJo. And he humps anything that has fur on it. I need to get him fixed.
RJ: That was actually my high school’s mascot, was the terrier.
RJAJ: Oh dude, best dog ever.
RJAJ: There’s nothing worse than a monitor guy with a bad attitude. With an “I don’t give a shit” attitude. Those are probably the only people that really rub me the wrong way, is a monitor guy with a bad attitude. Or like with a care-free attitude. We’ve done a couple of shows where we are like in the middle of a show and the monitor guy who is hired by the venue to help us out with some, with our in-ears, or with our monitors, and the dudes either passed out, or he’s making out with a chic. Like he’s supposed to be working and he’s wasted behind the board like passed out.
RJ: That sounds like a fantastic job to me!
RJAJ: Yeah! “What do you do for a living?” “Oh nothing, ignore bands and get paid for it!”
RJ: Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do that. If someone paid you to ignore bands and make out with chics you would totally do it.
RJAJ: The other thing that is really bad is that the monitor guy sometimes thinks that he’s like the reason why there is a show going on and he’ll talk into a microphone like the whole time. It’s like talking to the front of house guys are like, “So yeah, you know, the monitors, in between songs, we don’t know what he’s saying but it’s like ‘Yeah I’m the monitor guy, yeah.’” So yeah, I love those monitor guys, they’re a different breed.
RJ: Alright, last thing, just tell me a joke. Now I’ve heard some good jokes. The best one I’ve heard so far has been from Rise Against, so let’s see if you can top that joke.
RJAJ: Let me think of a good joke. Can I get a rating here? Can this be NC-17 or…?
RJ: You can say whatever you want to.
RJAJ: Can I call a lifeline?
RJ: Hmm, I don’t think so.
RJAJ: ‘Cause I have a friend who is a comedian… No wait, I have a good joke. No wait a minute. Hmmm… It’s all about the punch line.
RJ: Um hmm… But it’s also about the delivery.
RJAJ: Yeah, it is about the delivery too, and I’m not very good at the delivery. When it comes to jokes I’m like a drunk driver behind a Fed-Ex truck I just kind of try to steam through it and hope that I crash really hard. Wow… I’m brain dead right now.
RJ: It’s all good.
RJAJ: I think that was my joke, a joke on myself. That is my joke. When it comes to jokes I’m like a drunk driver behind a Fed-ex truck. I steam right through it and hope that don’t I crash really hard.
RJ: I think that Rise Against still has the best joke I’ve heard so far.
RJAJ: What is it?
RJ: What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common?
RJAJ: I have no idea.
RJ: Their greatest hit was the wall.
RJAJ: Oh I’ve heard that joke! You know what’s funny; if I wouldn’t have been brain dead I knew that joke. What if I would have said the same joke?
RJ: That would have been awkward.
RJAJ: It wouldn’t have been funny. It’s only funny when you hear it the first time and then you repeat it. That’s the cool thing about jokes, once you hear it then you say it to someone who doesn’t know it. If you say it to someone who knows it then there is always that awkward part where they answer you, like, “Yeah the wall… was their greatest hit.”
RJ: Yeah that’s always awkward, ‘cause then you’re like, “Well shit, I don’t have anything else.”
RJAJ: It kind of takes the wind out of your sails.
RJ: It’s like, aw shit, I’m going to go make some pancakes.
RJAJ: It’s like you’re naked in public.
RJ: Hmm… I don’t know what that feels like to be honest… Oh wait no I do.
RJAJ: Or like, alright, for example, it’s like if you’re in a movie and you spill your coke all over your pants and it looks like you peed your pants, it’s that kind of feeling. Man… that actually happened to me. I was off having dinner with my girlfriend and we were off at this nice restaurant and this lady, I mean she apologized because she felt so bad, but she spilled my coke all over me when she served it to me and it looked like I peed my pants.
RJ: Did you get free food?
RJAJ: Discount.
RJ: Well I think that’s about it. That’s all I’ve got.
RJAJ: Cool… That was fun man.
RJAJ: Really?
RJ: Yeah, Hawthorne Heights hung up on us.
RJAJ: But why?
RJ: Well to be fair, our tagline on our website at the time said, “Life is too short for Hawthorne Heights,” but then they agreed to an interview which I thought was ridiculous. One of my writers really really disliked the band so he wasn’t very polite during the interview, and when I believe it was one of the guitarists was asked if he had ever had sex on a pile of money he was like , “No man, I’m not into that,” and my writer was like, “I am guessing you’re a virgin then.” And I think that was when the interview really started going downhill.
RJAJ: Oh wow, well in my opinion, if that had ever happened to me, well you just got to go with it man. You just got to go with it.
RJ: Yeah… and Thursdays’ keyboard player has no sense of humor whatsoever. The first question I asked him was, “Would you ever fuck a wookie?” And the look on his face was pure disgust.
RJAJ: A wookee?
RJ: Yeah, I mean, not like a dude wookie, a chick wookie, whatever.
RJAJ: Yeah a chic wookie.
RJ: And he was like, “No.” I asked, “What if you were a wookie too?” And he was like “NO,” and he looked really concerned, like he’d be a celibate wookie, he’d be a pope Wookie. Pope Wookie the 4th. And he just looked at me like, whatever, and I thought to myself, “Okay, we’re going to crash this interview into the ground now.” So I just, same thing, Fed-ex driver, I ran through it and literally just destroyed the interview.
RJAJ: Yeah I mean, I would have said, “Well can I be the first wookie who has a waxing kit.”
RJ: Yeah, I mean, I asked one of the guys from Gym Class Hereos the same question, and he responded. “Well, yeah, if she shaved her coochie.”
RJAJ: [Laughs]
RJ: That’s a far better answer.
RJAJ: Hmm… Yeah that makes me wonder what a wookie private area looks like. I mean, you know, wookie dicks, right?
RJ: Yeah.
RJAJ: I think I’d rather be an ewok.
RJ: So you’re into midget porn?
RJAJ: No I’m just saying, when I was a kid I was like…
RJ: Sexually attracted to ewoks?
RJAJ: No, but I thought it would be cool to be an ewok. They don’t really talk, they just make funny noises. And did you ever see the ewok movies? They take their fallen to cool lakes that send them into weird dimensions.
RJ: Yeah Wicket was bad ass, I wanted to hang out with them.
RJAJ: That’s what I’m saying. I wanted to hang out with them and like go on their adventures. And fight off those giant things that put them into cages.
RJ: Yeah those guys sucked. Alright I’m going to go get ready for an excursion to San Diego this weekend.
RJAJ: Do it!
RJ: I’m gonna!
RJAJ: It was good talking to you man.
RJ: You too, later.
RJAJ: Later.
–Jonathan “The Emperor” Yost