We’ve all seen their faces splashed on the TV sets smiling and smirking as though taunting us inferiors about our bourgeois desire to drive their Bentleys, live in their $20 million dollar mansions, and sleep with whoever we please- which is why there is nothing funnier than a celebrity getting their mug taken by the boys in blue. The following photos are courtesy of mugshot.com without which this article would not be possible. Without further ado, here are the top ten celebrity mug shot photos.
10) Brad Renfro Before he became infamous for the way he died, the Apt Pupil star became infamous for the way he lived—most notably, his run-ins with the Los Angeles Police Department. A 2005 sweep of downtown’s notorious Skid Row district netted Renfro and several other heroin users. The actor eventually served three years probation, but not before LAPD had a photo shoot of their own with them.
9) Leif Garrett Although Millennials may only know his name, the former 70’s pop star and one of the stars (besides baby boomers Robert Culp and Elliot Gould) of the then-groundbreaking film Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, like Renfro, Garrett later fell victim to heroin abuse, an addiction which later landed him in jail, as this 2006 photo demonstrates.
[Emperor’s note – I had no idea Leif was so METAL.!]
8) Matthew Shafer, alias Uncle Kracker Uncle Kracker was not only a DJ for a rappin’ Kid Rock, but he was also an alleged sex fiend. Having been picked up for a 2nd degree sexual offense at a lounge in Raleigh, North Carolina. Seeing as how the only crap online is about getting picked up and the bond subsequently being dropped from $5 million to $75K, and an ensuing barrage of shitty rock-rap albums, we don’t think much of it.
[Emperor’s Note: Kid Rock sucks.]
7) Rip Torn Yeah, he was Zed from Men in Black. But prior to that, Torn was perhaps one of the most engaging of the Hollywood rebels in the 1970s. He not only smoked pot and drank like George Jones on a Saturday night, but he was known for making people see stars with his fists- and not just the paparazzi. His Devil-may-care attitude cost him many roles in film and television, but endeared him to a generation of fans. Also: Studs Turkel.
So when Mr. Torn was arrested on DUI charges in New Hampshire in 2008, it came as no surprise to anyone. But it’s nice to see that he’s still rebelling against The Man, even though he looks he could be The Man, for all we care.
6) James Frey Perennial plagurist, and sometime Gawker subject, Frey got his street cred fairly early, getting booked by the Granville 5-0 in 1992. This, by the way, is the same five-hour ordeal that Frey magically transformed into an 87-day sentence for crack addiction. The embellishment is just one of many that were exposed and later led to a stark reappraisal of his work by literary circles. Though he may have been convicted of perjury in the court of public opinion, don’t count him out—since then he’s published a novel, Illumination, about a so-called “last book of the Bible” featuring Jesus Christ in New York City, and is otherwise living okay in the City of Eight Million Stories.
Lying may not endear him well to readers—but let’s face it—it’s made him a rich bastard.
5) Jane Fonda Before she starred in the monstrosity that is Monster-in-Law, the exercise enthusiast- and former wife of Ted Turner- made her bones being something else: anti-war protester. During a tour of duty in Cleveland enlightening police and the public alike about the errors of war in Viet Nam (yes, that’s the correct spelling), the pigs thought it sufficient to lock up Hanoi Jane for some reason or another.
Though she arguably is one of the more vociferous characters on this list, she is also the most…photogenic. Love or hate her, it is hard not to be impressed by twenty year old Jane’s looks. Though several vets would like to differ.
4) Michael Jackson. It seems like only yesterday that we grieved for him, yet five years prior to dying it was a completely different story. Investigated a second time by the Santa Barbara Police Department in 2003, the singer-songwriter had his life turned upside down once more. While he wasn’t subjected to a strip search the way he was in 1993, his home was poured over by Santa Barbara authorities looking for evidence that Jackson had illegal sex with a 13 year-old.
He was acquitted of all charges two years later, but not before the community made it known that he wasn’t welcome back home. Denigrated and cast out, Jackson fled Neverland Ranch for the United Arab Emirates in 2005. He escaped in other ways as well, furthering his addiction to painkillers as well as continuing his use of anesthetics, especially Propofol.
Jackson’s past caught up with him in July. But his mug shot- and music – lives on.
3) Anna Nicole Smith Like Jackson, Anna Nicole’s life was an open book. Between a reality show, photo shoots for Playboy and fallout from her relationship with oil billionaire J. Howard Marshall, Smith’s life resembled nothing so much as a car crash in slow motion. In many ways, her life is an All American success story. From a droll life as a Wal-Mart employee, the 90’s bombshell hustled for money, until a fateful ad in the local newspaper put her in contact with Hef, sending her on a path that would put her on the cultural map—at a terrible price.
Despite her reputation as a ditzy blonde, Smith- like Mansfield forty years earlier- put her brain as well as her body to work, taking advantage of her looks and reputation to ink several movie deals as well as the cult hit (and E! cable channel staple) The Anna Nicole Show. Behind the façade though, lay a troubled woman, dogged by weight gain and addiction to painkillers. Following a brief comeback as a spokes-model for TrimSpa, Smith had to watch helplessly as her son Daniel fell victim to a drug overdose, which was later ruled suspicious, which did nothing to help the reputation of the Bahamas- the island chain she called home.
Ironically, Smith herself would die of drug-related complications in 2007, triggering a chain of events worthy of Dicken’s Bleak House. While her then-boyfriend Larry Birkhead would be declared the legal father of Smith’s child Daniellynn, her estate would ultimately fall under the preview of another boyfriend, Howard K. Stern. And the drama is not half over—just a few days ago, it was discovered that Smith enjoyed a sexual relationship with both her psychiatrist—Dr. Khristine Eroshevich, and internist Sandeep Kapoor.
2) Tom DeLay He may be shakin’ his romp for votes on Dancing with the Stars, but prior to that he gained infamy as “The Hammer,” the former congressman was notorious for whipping members in line, among other things. Yet it is his hard-charging redistricting tactics in his Sugar Land, Texas, and his relationship with lobbyist Jack Abramoff, that got the attention of the feds. During his tenure as representative of the 24th District, DeLay knowingly lobbied the Justice Department to drop its investigation into Indian casinos represented by Abramoff, all while he accepted junkets to the United Kingdom on behalf of Abramoff and aides. Though he wasn’t the most egregious character in the FBI’s long-running investigation into the web of corruption Abramoff weaved, he was by far the most visible, and as a result he was indicted on conspiracy and influence peddling charges.—the equivalent of a military reprimand in the political world.
DeLay resigned his seat in January 2006, taking his name off the ballot for the Congressional election. The seat ended up in the hands of write-in candidate Shelly Sekula-Gibbs, who lost the seat to Democrat Nick Lampson, who in turn lost to Republican Pete Olson.
1) Marion “Suge” Knight Though he is fading memory in the mind of most twentysomethings, ten years ago he was one of the most hated and feared men in rap music. With a reputation for violence- he once allegedly held Vanilla Ice over a railing- Knight’s personality and imposing frame made it difficult for industry insiders to go against him, regardless of the issue. Not surprisingly, Knight parlayed his infamy into genuine fame in the 1990s, as the owner of Death Row Records , signing up Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog early on in their solo careers.
But it is the circumstances surrounding the death of another infamous rap impresario- Tupac Shakur-that solidified Knight’s cred as a man who, quite literally, could snuff out a career as quickly as he could build it up. Though he was never directly implicated in the 1996 murder of Shakur, the LAPD investigation that followed turned up an upsetting relationship between Knight, members of the Bloods street gang, and the off-security police officers that only fueled rumors that the shooting was directed by him.
Knight’s problems only got worse following a parole violation (he did time for assault and weapons charges prior to Tupac’s death), and the fact that his cellmate was a prison snitch who was passing down embellished versions of Knight’s presumed role in the Tupac murder didn’t help. Though the allegations were never proven, the mere fact his name was dropped combined with Knight’s prior history as a man more apt to pick up a baseball bat than shake hands with the enemy did not endear him well to potential fans.
While some aspiring rappers would kill for a rep like Knight’s, contrary to conventional wisdom, the rumors lowered his standing in the rap community rather than enlarge it. Thanks to the controversy surrounding the Tupac (and later B.I.G.) murders, Death Row Records suffered a economic hit, resulting in a Chapter 11 bankruptcy for the label as well as for Knight. The former rap mogul got out of the joint in 2007, coming home to a $127 million debt, $12 million of which was in liens. A run-in with Kanye West at a pre-V.M.A. party in 2005 resulted in a gunshot wound to the leg, an incident which became part of Knight’s bankruptcy claim.
Sometimes, it’s not good to be the king.
–John Winn