Work. Eat. Sleep. It seems the average Joe’s life is a monotonous rinse and repeat. Boring and bland; lacking spice of any sort. They are always looking at the other end of the spectrum- the celebrity spectrum, that is. In comparison to the common life, superstar life appears to be more amazing. The celebrity life glitters; the nobody life dulls. To us, the VIP life is a 24/7 party, free drinks all around! Over the past week, the famed life had its share of make-ups, break-ups, and potential lock-ups.
Jennifer Love-Hewitt found her name in the spotlight, and for once it was not tied to her weight. Instead, it was tied to Jamie Kennedy- they appeared as a couple for the first time at the Country Music Awards. Kennedy reportedly told Ryan Seacrest that he and Hewitt are “more than dating…more than in love.” Just out of curiosity, what is “more than in love”? I smell obsession, and I’m not talking about the cologne… Speaking of obsessive couples, notoriously quarrelsome couple Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson has decided to take a break. It was made official when Sam changed the locks on Lindsay, essentially kicking her out on her overly-tanned butt. Maybe this breakup will give Lindsay the push she needs to recreate her career. But it will most likely lead to many nights out, dancing on tables and drinking herself into a stupor. The question is raised though, when she is drunk, will she kiss a boy or a girl?
On a happier note, Hugh Hefner celebrated his 83rd birthday with a party in Vegas. He even managed to stay awake past the early-bird special. However, he still didn’t make it through the entire night- maybe because this time he didn’t have Kendra laughing obnoxiously in his ear every 10 minutes. In other fake-chested blonde news, Hef’s ex Holly Madison was given the axe on Dancing With the Stars. Good thing too, because the show was cutting into her “prowling for old men with lots of money and dentures” time.
Today is judgment day for Chris Brown. Seems like “Forever” ago that he was charged with assault and making criminal threats. In a downtown LA courthouse, Chris pleaded not guilty. I’m on his side though. If I had to listen to that cacophonous accent of Rihanna’s I probably would have done the same thing. There’s only so many times that someone can ask you for an umbrella-ella-ella-ella before you snap.
It was the shot heard around the world. No, I am not talking about the Civil War. At Tom Brady’s wedding to Gisele Bundchen in Costa Rica, security guards shot at paparazzi who refused to give up his footage of the wedding. It’s probably more accurate to say Gisele’s wedding to Tom, since we all know who is the quarterback in that relationship. There was only one victim, the paparazzo’s SUV.
Love, lawyers, and lullabies, it’s all in the week’s work of a celebrity. They get the late nights partying at clubs; we get late nights at the office. Looking back on this past week, maybe it evens out. I know I am thankful that the world doesn’t know about when my manly looking lover changes the locks on me. Some things are just better to be kept private.
–Cortney Long