Lipstick on the Mirror
There is this music festival called Rock on the Range that takes place at Crew Stadium right here in Columbus, Ohio every year. Go to http://www.rockontherange.com/ to check it out for yourself. The first year the festival was thrown a good friend of mine and I used to joke about different ways we could wreak terror at the festival, systematically destroying everything that is wrong with Ohio (and the rest of Middle America) in one fell swoop.
You see, the festival features all of the worst bands in rock’n’roll. Everything that is wrong with modern rock on one stage over two days every May, it’s an exciting concept. 50,000 poor people, all of whom are inept enough to vote Republican because they agree with the GOP on social issues like hating non-whites* and non-Christians, a man’s innate right to beat his woman, the right of the public to tell a woman what she can or can’t do with her body, etc., gather together to listen to groups like Three Doors Down, Puddle of Mudd, Chevelle, and others of that ilk. Well, Pop Evil** fits in perfectly on that bill. This shit sucks.
* Go look through past year photos and play just try to find a black dude. Seriously, there are more black cowboys at Tim McGraw concerts.
** No, it is not lost on me that Pop Evil actually has a black band member, and I don’t intend to suggest that anyone who attends RotR is racist, only that 85% of attendees are.
[Emperor’s note: I actually had asked Luke to re-write this without certain words that could have been misconstrued as terrorism. I know, I’m a tool.]