What We Do Is Secret
PeaceArch Films
8.5/10 

 Let’s start with I did not want to see this movie. Eff Shane West as the new Darby Crash for one reason: fake glass. 2006 Warped Tour. So stoked to see that the Germs were playing. Booked out of some interviews to utilize my fancy pants press pass to get a solid view from the photo pit. Racket Mike was up first, and he comes back after a song and a half, tells me to put out my hand, which I do. I then see him …

LagwagonI Think My Older Brother Used to Listen to LagwagonFat Wreck7.00/10.00

So Lagwagon released a new album. A bit of a preface here, I have never really cared for Lagwagon. They have that similar sound, you know? That usual ‘Fat Wreck’ sound, a sound that Fat Wreck has dealt with criticism in the past.
I don’t dislike that Fat Wreck sound, honestly, and it isn’t even a bad thing, not whatsoever. But something about Lagwagon has always struck me as, well…just kind of bland. And not bland as in untalented, but bland …

This is what happens when The Emperor heads down to an interview of an artist I’ve never heard, with no questions, and no real concern for the subject’s thoughts or feelings. In the alley behind the Glasshouse, I opened Dan of PlayRadioPlay’s eyes to the joys of dumpster diving and we discussed a mutual love of $2 Sammies and a mutual ignorance of sperm donation standards.
The Emperor!: What bodily fluid can you just not stand?
PlayRadioPlay Dan: I think I’m down for all bodily fluids.
TE!: Really?
PRPD: I love them all, …

Now, I know that this is boring, but the very attractive ladies at Capitol asked me to do this, and I have no shame doing things for pretty girls. This is what happens when you do an email interview with a guy who comes off as thinking he’s better than you.
The Emperor: How do you pronounce your name- spell it out for me phonetically.
Ferras: Fur-oss.
The Emperor: What movie quote do you overuse?
Ferras: I’m not that lame.
The Emperor: Using movie quotes is NOT LAME! Has any of your friends told you …

Nerf Herder is an amazing entity, that’s right, entity. It’s more than a band, it’s a political powerhouse, a multi-national economy, and…well, a decent pick up line, it turns out. Well, here’s what happens when a weird excuse for a journalist meets with a weird excuse for a band.
The Emperor!: Well, shit. I have two pages of questions here, I’m trying to figure out where to start.
Nerf Herder Perry: Want me to pick one?

TE! No, no, I got this. Who would you rather bang, Chyna or Xena?
Nerf Herder Charlie: Xena.
NHP: …