Well, I had no fucking intentions of hitting up Coachella this year because, let’s face it, until Prince was added, the lineup kind of sucked. Here’s what I thought would happen during each headliner:
Jack Fuck Johnson: This dude comes out in shorts and sandals and plays the Curious George soundtrack for everyone.
Portishead: While performing Glory Box, a huge group of Bros starts throwing bottles and telling Beth Gibbons to take off her shirt.
Roger Waters: While performing any number of songs from Pink Floyd’s extensive catalog, he falls …

The good fellows at Osiris, most specifically William, sent us a couple pairs of Osiris shoes. Initiate product review!

Diego’s Cleaver shoe looking a bit suspect. (*Emperor’s note: fuck yea, these shoes make me…umm…skate in a more direct line. And they don’t smell as bad as my last ones. Thus, these shoes rule! Pimp-tastic!)

Today, Guerilla Union announced the line up for the 2008 Rock The Bells festival, well, festival tour. Your ever-rocking Emperor headed up the street to the Hip Kitty, a jazz club that also happens to serve fondue. I know, weird. Anyways, went out, had some delicious key lime martinis (at 1PM, solid) and got to see Guerilla Union’s mastermind, Chang Weisberg, humbly (and I mean this, the guy looked sincerely overwhelmed by the fruits of his labor) offer his thanks to everyone involved, and had go-to guy MC Supernatural come …

The Doll Underground
Vivid Alt
8/10
Well, I have to admit, reviewing a porno, or is it “alt-porno?,” is far more difficult than I thought it would be, and for several reasons. One, I didn’t know porn movies were more than 15 minutes long. I always thought they were to be used as sleep aids, with the end result taking place shortly after the process starts. Two, ummm, watching people do it for an extended period of time, and fully clothed, is well, awkward. Don’t get me wrong, Eon McKai (NOT Ian MacKaye …

Thrice
The Alchemy Index Vols. III-IV
Vagrant Records
8/10
Son of a bitch. Seriously, I have not cared about Thrice before. Not one bit. I didn’t hate them, don’t get me wrong, I just never saw what all the commotion was about. Now, with The Alchemy Index Vols. III-IV, I have a Thrice album that not only do I enjoy, but I hate taking it out of my CD player. It takes an idea that most bands can’t do, a concept album, and does it in an amazing fashion.
I thought, “Oh, goodie, …

At 4PM on Tuesday, April 15th, stay tuned to Racket for a special live announcement from Motley Crue. We don’t know what it’s going to be about, so we’ll be watching it with you! Click the link to watch the video at 4PM!

I love these things. A butt load of journalists, even pseudo-journalists such as yours truly, are invited to come hang out and listen to spicy tidbits of Warped Tour gossip and chat with some of the main acts. My favorite tidbit this year comes from Warped Founder Kevin Lyman, speaking of Kaves (Lordz Of Brooklyn) and the first Warped Tour: “He didn’t have any food, I didn’t have any food, Sublime ate all the food and the dog ate the rest.”
What the hell ever happened to Louie, anyways? I …

As we all know, there are bands out there with little, or no talent at all, but now there is a new group in this big, bad town. Three of the most talented guys you will ever meet bring you the art and inspiration that has been lacking in music for an extremely long time. The Devil’s Orchestra is the next wave of legends, not only in music, but art. The trio brings you sounds like no one else. A dark and epic fantasy that clashes with heavy face melting …

We the people of Racket magazine don’t get much stuff. How do I know this? Because I had the mailing address forwarded to my house for a few months while The Emperor was between residences. The only thing I received in the entire 3 months that Racket Magazine resided in Riverside was a bunch of CDs to review (most of them metal- can you read the disgust in my voice?). Except for one non-metal bundle of joyt- the delightful dudes at Robert Earl Couture graced us with a glorious press …

Anew Revolution
Rise
Koch Records
9/10
Given my taste for the “odd” (or perhaps being the cynic that I am), with the garbage bands frequently heard on the airwaves today, I have little faith in the current American rock scene. That being said, I have to be honest when I say I went into this record with some severe skepticism. I was pleasently surprised by Rise, however. With Ünloco‘s Joey Duenas on guitar/vocals, bass and drums handled by Frank Salvaggio and Rob Urbani of Slaves On Dope; throw in Austin, TX local guitar hero …

Sent to me by my buddies at No Idea Records…
We are running several auctions right now to benefit CAL ROBBINS! Go here to check ‘em out: http://search. ebay. com/_W0QQsassZalfiepotato
We may be adding more records to the auctions as this goes along, so check back over the next few days!
** More info can be found at:
http://desotorecords. com/cal/index.shtml
http://callumrobbins. blogspot. com
** This message comes from Kim and Bill at Desoto Records:
“Hi friends of J. Robbins, Janet Morgan and Cal Robbins:
J. and Janet’s baby boy Cal was born with a serious genetic condition called …