The Front:  Scolari’s Office, San Diego
May 18th, 2007
North Park.  North Park.  North Park.  Why must you be so far away?  However, the venture into Scolari’s Office in San Diego is always worth it.  Actually, that may only be true because both times I’ve been there to see The Front, a three-piece Los Angeles band consisting of Michael Bauer (vocals, guitar), Kelly Kutasy (drums), and Nico Woolley (bass).  And, they are always worth the drive, the bad …

The Queers
With The Methadones, The Ganges, The Leftovers, Regal Beagle
Safari Sam’s  – June 17th, 2007
Hollywood, CA
Why can’t I go to LA for one fucking day without being called names by a homeless dude? Psychotic bums, awful traffic and the shitty smell of smog, none of these mattered once I got into Safari Sam’s as local act Regal Beagle got under way. While these dudes did not look like the snot nosed riff raff that is known for making bratty, go-fuck-yourself punk, that’s sure what they did. Weren’t too shabby, either. …

            How to not suck as a human being may seem like common sense to most. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there running around sucking. Here’s a brief guide on how to keep your sucking potential to a minimum.

            There’s this girl I know named Mary Claire, and we often drunk dial each other to swap insults and brag about pranks. During one of our inebriated conversations, I blurted out, “I don’t care what anyone says! I love the new AFI single!” On the verge of tears, she too confessed to loving the song. We both felt that admitting to fandom of AFI was tantamount to credibility suicide, which is why it took liquor and the confidence of a friend to confess such a dark secret.

We’ve all been there. We’ve all been in the bar or at a club, innocently having a few drinks and deciding the best way to approach the cute redhead across the room when all of a sudden some dreadful local band starts up and puts a damper on your evening. They’re never the next Nirvana or Fugazi; they’re not even the next Spinal Tap. What follows is a handy reference guide to spotting and identifying the various groups and performers you’ll encounter and the appropriate response.

I am soooo sick and tired of the same crap. “Dubya’s gunna pass a bill that will kill all the homos! Write in to your representatives and tell them to vote for bill H.R. 1441.” And then a shitload of people repost it on MySpace, mass forward the email, or whatever. How much do you want to bet that no one looked up what H.R. (House of Representatives) bill 1441 was. I did. Here it is. H.R. 1441 was to give American Companies first dibs on Iraq. The same thing? …

Matt Corbett tests his strength of will, by testing the strength of 40s. We here at Racket Magazine encourage responsible alcohol consumption by those of legal age. By “legal age,” we mean girls who say they’re legal, and by “drink responsibly,” we mean don’t spill any.
Being a student presents many challenges, not the least of which is trying to get hammered on a budget. It’s easy to get drunk on great-tasting beers like Shiner Bock or Bass Pale Ale, but how many of us can afford to keep up a …

Being a supporter of the current administration at the college age is a dangerous proposition, to say the least. Emphasis is placed on disaproving of anything Bush could ever say or do, with minimal regard for any actual insight, at least insight past a catchy bumper sticker slogan. When pressed, many anti-Bush kids would be unable to give you any specifics or original thinking, besides what Michael Moore has told them, at least. While those who argue against Bush and his cabinet may be correct in principle, the complete lack …

This weekend I found myself unexpectedly eating brunch at an exclusive country club, the type of establishment in which I do not typically find myself. When I was not amusing myself guessing how many people there were named Brad or watching the wait staff who were killing time until the trust fund kicks in, I was observing the other diners. It soon dawned on me that the only thing that separated their conversations from the one that was occurring at my own table was the haughty tone. As a service …

I mean awesome Australia cuisine………..sicko.
While you Americans chow down on your hotdogs and Oreo’s, we Aussies are somewhat more refined in the art of culinary. To educate you on countries outside of your own, I thought I would teach a lesson in Australian Cuisine. Crikey…

            So you and your best friends (or the least retarded people who answered your ad on the coffee house bulletin board) have been working in a garage putting a band together. You’ve been working on tightening up, wrote a few original tunes, prepped a few Screeching Weasel/Metallica/Kinks/Johnny Burnette/”wacky,” “ironic” top 40 pop hit* covers, choreographed a stage show involving bottle rockets and strobe lights. You feel you’re finally ready to make your live debut. You call your local promoter trying to set up a show opening up for whatever …

Chumble Spuzz
By Ethan Nicole
Slave Labor Graphics
9/10
Well, if you like your comics to have the level of cursing, destruction and pure disgust as New Jersey, look no further than Chumble Spuzz! In the same vein as Evan Dorkin’s uber-cuddly dairy duo Milk & Cheese, Nicole’s tale of a satan-possessed piggy and his ill-guided, but good-intentioned owners has a destruction:panel ratio that is perfect for people who love their violence illustrated and plentiful. Following Gunther and Klem, Chumble Spuzz shows how the two spend their time plotting the destruction of Lucifer himself, …

Now, I understand that you must think Racket is all kinds of big-time now that we’ve interviewed the premier Wizard-Rock band in the USA (United States of Americawesome,) but I assure you, we are still as modest as when we told Hawthorne Heights that they sucked. Here’s The Emperor’s interview with Paul DeGeorge, one half of Harry and The Potters.